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Rough-Draft Thinking

A space for initial, unpolished thoughts on queer and trans belonging and current curiosities

Mini Curiosity: Percy Jackson and the Olympians

12/15/2025

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Current Curiosities

[Reading] The Stranger by Albert Camus 

[Listening] Soul Christmas

[Watching] The Holiday


The Gospel Truth: Percy Jackson Goes the Distance

Much like Real Housewife of Salt Lake City Angie Katsanevas, I'm obsessed with being (half) Greek. Indeed, you can only reread Stephen Fry's Mythos, Heroes, Troy, and Odyssey or relisten to the back-catalogs of Let's Talk About Myths, Baby!, Natalie Haynes Stands Up for the Classics, or The Ancients so many times.

I binged the first season of ​Percy Jackson and the Olympians over a weekend and loved every bonkers minute! And the second season is off to a legendary start, even featuring an ironclad!

In elementary school, I became obsessed with Civil War ironclads, which is funny for a pacifist ironically named after a twentieth-century general. But I've been gripped by these silly ships since playing Pigskin and Slamjam in Social Studies. Both were ten-week U.S. geography trivia worksheets that required using actual atlases (books of maps, not the Titan) and encyclopedias (because the internet was off-limits and honestly not super helpful in the 1990s). Anyway, one of the perennial questions asked something like which team would fly closest to a sunken ironclad? and what cape did the ironclad sink in? and bonus: what is the name of the ironclad? Obviously, the last answer is the USS Monitor.

The thing I like most about Percy Jackson and the Olympians ​is how the show (I know it was a book series first, but I haven't read it and do not plan to) translates Greek mythology into a contemporary setting. The show achieves this by layering different historical aesthetics onto the present. In addition the aforementioned ironclad (crewed by the dead), the show also incorporates Art Deco architecture and motifs, which lends an air eeriness and spiritualism and opulence to the show.

Percy Jackson also does a stellar job of imaginatively mapping the mythical Aegean onto the continental United States with the Sea of Monsters translocated to the Bermuda Triangle or the Gateway Arch in St. Louis morphing into a temple to Athena (and a brief critique of American settler-colonialism!) or the secret entry to Hades' realm being guarded by a tacky 1970s-inspired Procrustes in a Los Angeles mattress store. This show! 

Anyway, here is the good, the bad, and the queer for Percy Jackson and the Olympians:

The Good
  • Daddy Poseidon — uff da
  • Mariah Carey saving the day!
  • Jason Mantzoukas and Jay Duplass
  • ​Diverse cast adds depth to mythology
  • Timothy Simons' Gargamel-esque Tantalus 
  • Successfully dodging Disney's dead mom trope

The Bad
  • Feminist icon Medusa meeting her fate at the hand of yet another Percy
  • Occasionally glimpsing Tyson's real eyes under his CGI monop
​
The Queer
While the queerness of Greek mythology and society seems to have been erased for the comfort of Disney audiences, viewers familiar with the mythology can still glimpse it in palimpsestic relief. And Percy and his fellow demigods offer a parallel for queer and trans audiences, existing out of sync with dominant human (hetero-patriarchal) society. As Percy and company navigate their non-normative godlike identities, LGBTQ+ viewers have an opportunity to safely explore ways of being and accepting their own identities.

Finally, Percy Jackson offers viewers a Harry Potter-like experience without all the violently anti-trans, occasionally racist baggage.  

Thank you very much for your time. If you have recommendations or curiosities, please fill out this nifty contact form.

Sending y’all supportive, well-caffeinated vibes, 

Creighton 

Today’s Pen(cil): Spoke Design Icon [Fountain Pen] | Noodler's V-Mail Midway Blue [Ink]

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Mini Curiosity: Decking the Halls with Boughs of Anxiety

12/10/2025

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Current Curiosities 

[Reading] Gaysians by Mike Curato

[Listening] Lovett or Leave It Presents: Bravo, America! (with Bronwyn Newport)

[Watching] Charlie's Angels + Full Throttle


Cue Holiday Anxiety in 3, 2, 1
​
There comes a time for Christmas
And I really have to ask
If this is feeling merry
How much longer must it last?

— Blues Traveler, Christmas, A Very Special Christmas 3

Every year around this time, I feel growing anxiety and a nostalgia, a grief for a past that never really existed. I know it's the shorter days and colder weather. Though I do love snow, and when Diego Dog was alive, I loved taking walks with him in the snow. And I know holidays are layered with unrealistic internal and external expectations. Complicated family dynamics and histories exacerbate these expectations. 

This year, I'm being more deliberate about how I spend my time and with whom. I'm even being intentional about how I listen to Christmas music in order to combat anxiety and to cultivate joy and wonder. I have a modest vinyl collection, which features a few Christmas albums, so instead of hitting next indefinitely on Spotify trying to find the best song for a particular ephemeral mood, I'm slowly down and listening to whole holiday albums.

And honestly, it's really helped. I don't have to think about what song is coming next. I can just enjoy the ride 
— until the needle reaches the end of the track and the record needs flipping. Unsurprisingly, I really like the tactile nature of vinyl (careful of fingerprints, dingdong!). And turning over the record requires movement — stepping away from my desk, taking a quick break from a project — providing a moment to breathe, to decompress, to reset.

Anyway, here are a few of my favorite Christmas albums from my collection:

  • The Beach Boy's Christmas Album 
  • A Charlie Brown Christmas
  • Mariah Carey's Merry Christmas
  • A Motown Christmas
  • Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings' It's A Holiday Soul Party
  • Snowy Setlist (A Target Exclusive)
  • Soul Christmas

Remember to take time for yourself. Remember no is a full sentence. And remember to cultivate your own joy. Wishing y'all warm, relaxing time with friends, family, and chosen family this holiday season!

Thank you very much for your time. If you have recommendations or curiosities, please fill out this nifty contact form.

Sending y’all supportive, well-caffeinated vibes, 

Creighton 

Today’s Pen(cil): Sherpa Ugly Christmas Sweater 2018 Limited Edition Pen Cover [Sharpie] 
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Give A Little Bit: The Rub Of Organizational Giving + Volunteering

12/5/2025

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Current Curiosities

[Reading] And Don't F&%k It Up: An Oral History of RuPaul's Drag Race by Maria Elena Hernandez

[Listening] It's A Holiday Soul Party by Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings

[Watching] ​The Rocky Mountain Mortician Murder


We Wish You A Merry Christmas (As Long As We Benefit From It)

​It's that time of year again when anti-trans red kettles clutter store entrances and organizations begin laundering their reputations through nonprofits and via official social media posts of team members volunteering in the community. The motivation behind the publicity photos shifts the narrative from helping those in need to focusing on the organization appearing to be made of good white people. 

Motivation matters. And it's clear organizational giving and volunteering is actually about increasing profits and gilding reputations damaged by credible complaints of discrimination and harassment from marginalized employees or by harming communities and the environment. 

For example, a while ago I volunteered at a local food bank with some friends. We wanted to bond and have fun and do some good. We arrived at the same time as an organizational volunteer group from a well-known financial institution. As my friends and I sorted nonperishable goods and toiletries into individual and family-sized packages, I noticed the organization's group was standing off to the side chatting with each other and looking at their phones. Not one of them was actually volunteering. When their time was up, the organization's group made sure to take group photos that were immediately shared across social media in order gain local accolades for the financial institution's alleged community engagement during the holidays.

The financial institution's opportunism and the hollowness of their engagement at the food bank shocked me and changed how I see organizational philanthropy.

I began to look critically at LinkedIn posts of local organizations laying out their collections of toys or school supplies or shelf-stable food on tables in the same manner the DEA lays out drugs and guns seized during raids. These photos are less about the act of giving to and service to others and more about the quantity of stuff (including money) collected. Through social media, organizational giving and volunteering is not only profit-driving and reputation-laundering, but also has become a capitalist size-measuring competition. Organizations document their piles of collected stuff, with the biggest piles given awards and status by nonprofit gatekeepers.

If organizational philanthropy isn't documented on social media and recognized by nonprofit gatekeepers does it even count???

Motivation matters. Organizations have lost sight of why we volunteer, why we serve others. It's our responsibility to our fellow humans. We volunteer to give back to our community because we are part of the community and a thriving, healthy community supports everyone.

Motivation matters. Here are some considerations to make when coordinating your organization's annual philanthropic efforts: 
​
  • What is your organization's motivation for giving or volunteering?
  • Which nonprofit is your organization choosing to support?
  • Why is your organization the right fit for that particular nonprofit?
  • Or, what is the connection between your organization and that particular nonprofit's issue area?
  • Who takes the lead on your organization's giving and volunteer efforts? Human Resources should not lead on this effort. HR (with Communications) has a vested interested in laundering the organization's reputation because nothing combats bad press like organizational philanthropy.  

Showing up and volunteering is not enough. Successful organizational philanthropic efforts are scaffolded learning opportunities. This is why Learning & Leadership Development teams should plan, execute, and debrief giving and volunteering opportunities. Volunteer teams need to understand the causes and impacts of the particular issue targeted by your organization's philanthropy. Volunteer teams also need a chance to debrief their experience serving, to unpack their thoughts and feelings, to reflect on high-level systemic issues and the lived experiences of those whom they're serving. Moreover, sustained and ongoing giving and volunteering opportunities are more impactful (for volunteer teams and nonprofits) than one-and-done events.

One Final Consideration: Does your organization need to photographically document its philanthropy? And what motivates your organization to publicize its giving and volunteering? Maybe skip the official social media posts this year and just be present in the experience of giving and volunteering. Motivation matters.

That all being said, I hope y'all get out there and thoughtfully and purposefully give back to our shared community this holiday season — and beyond! 
​
Thank you very much for your time. If you have recommendations or curiosities, please fill out this nifty contact form.

Sending y’all supportive, well-caffeinated vibes, 

Creighton 

Today’s Pen(cil): Nahvalur Triad [Rollerball] | Monteverde Capri Blue [Ink]
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World AIDS Day + Matthew Shepard's Legacy

12/1/2025

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​Current Curiosities

[Reading] ​Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451 by Tim Hamilton

[Listening] Lovett or Leave It Presents: Bravo, America! (with Dorinda Medley)

[Watching] Heated Rivalry 


World AIDS Day

Today is World AIDS Day. And for this first time in nearly 40 years, the United States government will not recognize World AIDS Day, a day honoring those we've lost, reflecting on the medical and societal progress we've made, and celebrating the resilience of the diverse communities impacted by HIV/AIDS.

Trump and his Republican Party continue to pass legislation, sign executive orders, and update policy guidelines targeting and harming queer and trans communities, stripping us of basic rights. Not recognizing World AIDS Day is part of the wider MAGA agenda to erase LGBTQ+ communities from American society.

Trump's violence against queer and trans communities is not limited to the United States. His administration made cuts to global HIV prevention programs denying nearly 2.5 million people access to preventive medications. A true accounting of the consequences of Trump's callus and deadly decision may never be known.

This is why real, active allyship matters. This is why supporting and voting for diverse candidates for public office matters — because our health and our very lives are on the line.

Local LGBQT+ Healthcare Resource
The two major hospital chains in town are not always affirming or welcoming to queer and trans patients and often their providers do not have the necessary education to address the specific healthcare needs of LGBTQ+ communities. 

Canopy Medical Center is a safe, affirming option for LGBTQ+ healthcare in Fargo-Moorhead. I received my Mpox vaccine doses at Canopy in 2023 when Sanford Health refused to provide it. My experience at Canopy was great — and I cannot recommend Heidi and her team more highly!


Matthew Shepard | 1 December 1976 - 12 October 1998

Today is also Matthew Shepard's birthday. He would have been forty-nine years old.

I was twelve when I watched the initial coverage of Matthew's brutal murder in Wyoming on The Today Show while getting ready for school. As a closeted queer kid living in red-state North Dakota (which has sadly only become redder), I became terrified of my own identity. That morning, I learned being myself could get me killed. That morning, I doubled-down on concealing my identity, choosing to become (or at least outwardly appear) straight.

I spent the next decade actively hiding my real self from others. I dated girls. I played football (for a season — gross). I joined track and cross-country. I developed a frat boy persona (uff da​) based on straight guys in movies like American Pie. I wanted to be Josh not Christian​, though that I was using characters from ​Clueless should've been, well, a clue that this was not going to work. 

In college, exhausted, my straight-presenting veneer slowly and unexpectedly began to crack. Between freshman and senior years, I went from exclusively dating women to discreetly exploring my identity. But senior year, an argument with a roommate in which I was outed sent me running right back into the closet. (And while I firmly believe no one should be outed, I kinda deserved it.) An invasive grilling by a campus pastor earlier in the week also didn't help.

When I turned twenty-five, I decided it was time to finally and fully be myself, to come out. I was ready. And I did. (More on that later. Maybe. Who knows.) 

For me, there are two legacies of Matthew Shepard's life and death. First, I take my safety and the safety of other LGBTQ+ folks incredibly seriously.

As a queer adult, I felt safest living in Lawrence, KS. I lived in LFK, a liberal bubble in red Kansas, for nearly a decade while working on a PhD. In Lawrence, I felt safe dating and holding hands in public — just existing.

Then, I moved back to Fargo, ND. Even though West Fargo is my home, the metro has become increasingly more conservative and reactionary over this Trumpy decade. In Fargo, I realized I was reverting to old habits — concealing my identity, locating quick exits when near groups of cishet white men, etc.

Ultimately, I prioritized my safety and moved to Moorhead, MN, on the east bank of the Red River. Moorhead feels safer, more affirming and is filled with community-oriented and curious folks. In Moorhead, I live comfortably as myself. (And yes, I avoid crossing to the Fargo side of the Red as much as possible. Ha!) 


Second, Matthew's life was cut short, and he was never able to become a queer elder. At nearly forty years old, I suppose I am (becoming) a queer elder. Now, and in new ways, I feel like it's my responsibility to be visible and vocal and take up space because queer and trans people have historically not had long life expectancies. And to bring this post full circle, we do not have many queer elders in the generations above us due to the silence and inaction of the Reagan Administration during the early days of the HIV/AIDS epidemic. Being a queer elder is a privilege — ​one I'm taking increasingly more seriously. 

Today is World Aids Day. Today is Matthew Shepard's birthday. Today we honor both. 

Thank you very much for your time. If you have recommendations or curiosities, please fill out this nifty contact form.

Sending y’all supportive, well-caffeinated vibes, 

Creighton 

Today’s Pen(cil): Jacques Herbin Converter-Filling [Fountain Pen] | Sailor Shikiori Zaza [Ink]
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