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Current Curiosities
[Reading] Ghost World by Daniel Clowes [Listening] "Jackson" by Trixie Mattel and Orville Peck [Watching] Harriet the Spy WE ARE THE MUSES I've never really been a country music fan, though there are a few exceptions. I grew up listening to Patsy Cline and Dolly Parton. (I watched Straight Talk and Steel Magnolias every time I was home sick from elementary school.) Other than that, I actively avoided country music because of its conservative undertones and eventual reactionary overtones. In middle school, I began exploring The Chicks when they released "Goodbye Earl," but it wasn't until 2003 when Natalie Maines spoke out at a London concert against George W. Bush and the impending Iraq War that I began listening more closely to The Chicks. To this day, Taking the Long Way remains one of my favorite albums in my vinyl collection and "Not Ready to Make Nice" is my go-to destress song. The song parallels (in a small, make it about me way) the frustration and confusion I often feel when speaking up about queer and trans issues in the workplace and then experiencing the reaction to it. The song also requires engaging complex systems requiring full focus on breathing, posture, and lyrics. Again, "Not Ready to Make Nice" is the perfect destress song. As a senior in high school, I had the opportunity to play drums on stage at a Shania Twain concert. I'd never really listened to her music before, but recognized a few tunes from the radio. During the day-long rehearsal, I bonded with her incredibly kind and patient fiddle player. I played on "(If You're Not in It for Love) I'm Outta Here!." Having untreated anxiety (which remained unaddressed until I turned 30 - uff da), I didn't fully appreciate or enjoy this unique experience in the moment. I was terrified of the full stadium and shook the whole time. But I paradiddled and maintained the beat. After the concert, I began listening to Shania Twain's catalog, and you know what, she's got some bops! Now, I look back on the experience proud of myself for carrying on. In college and graduate school, I developed a habit of listening to Patsy Cline's Greatest Hits while driving home after good first dates. Honestly, I'm not sure why. Maybe it's her longing, her bittersweetness? IDK. Maybe that's why there were so many first dates? Ope. Maybe it's the hint of something hopeful and playful in Cline's voice? Probably. Patsy was my post-date confidant. (I understand why Kyle Richards allegedly fell for a country crooner!) The Chicks' Gaslighter carried me through the dark early days of the COVID-19 pandemic, while I lived in southern rural Minnesota. At the time, I was managing fellows in a center focused on community and civic engagement at a prestigious liberal arts college. (God, I love working with students! They are brilliant and creative and full of optimism!) The office was hella dysfunctional, and having recently moved, I had no local friends (you know, social distancing and masking). So I participated in many (too many?) FaceTime and Zoom happy hours with family and friends spread across the country - and I listened to The Chicks on repeat. While replaying "Gaslighter," "Sleep at Night," and "Tights on My Boat" and reflecting on the songs of Patsy Cline I grew up with, I began to notice these country-singing women are strong, real life steel magnolias. I also realized that their music was speaking to my lingering pre-pandemic heartbreak. Before the pandemic I was in an on-and-off relationship with a nurse I met while teaching at the University of Kansas. Every time, I'd set new boundaries or attempt to disentangle myself from his manipulations, he'd find new ways to pull me back in. As I listened to "I Fall to Pieces" or "Here You Come Again" or "That Don't Impress Me Much," I understood men are shit and I deserved better. A tale as old as time, I believe a teapot one said. These ladies of country music began to build me up as the pandemic dragged on and I considered a move back to Fargo to be nearer my nieces and nephews and Greek grandma. Then in 2025, I was DOGE-d out of my role as a senior researcher (grant writing and community engagement) at an environmental research center after my Department of Energy grants were canceled by Trump and Musk. During my down time, I revisited Cowboy Carter, which had come out the summer before. While I updated my resume and applied for jobs, I streamed and spun the the second album in her trilogy nearly every day that summer. The eclectic mix of subgenres and featured artists lifted my spirits during this period of unemployment. At the end of that summer, I took a job at a local hardware store, and have enjoyed meeting folks in my neighborhood and seeing queer and trans customers feel a little more at-ease in a space, much like Country music, that's not always safe for us. [I remain hella underemployed. Anyone want to hire a sunny, team and goal oriented engagement leader, former educator, and dog-walker?] Through these country singing women, I've (re)learned to hone my resilience, lean into courage, and choose my peace - and to be fully present during the good times. Because the good times, like men, can be fickle. As Dolly once said, "The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain." I've seen a lot of rain, but I've also witnessed some stunning rainbows. Anyway, here are a few country songs that have caught my attention lately:
Thank you very much for your time. If you have recommendations or curiosities, please fill out this nifty contact form. Sending y’all supportive, well-caffeinated vibes, Creighton Today’s Pen(cil): Silver Fox Tools Titanium Mini Sharpie Caddy
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Current Curiosities
[Reading] Star Wars: Darth Maul - Son of Dathomir by Jeremy Barlow and Takeshi Miyazawa [Listening] "I Wanna Be A Cowboy Sweetheart" by Ruby Leigh [Watching] The Real Housewives of Orange County THE WRITING LANDSCAPE I’m a huge fan of Field Notes notebooks. (I used to be a Moleskine gurly, but the paper quality is meh.) I like the simplicity of Field Notes - the sturdy pocket-size kraft paper covers with thick paper, and three simple staples. (Staple Day, the day you reach the middle of each notebook exposing the bent staple legs, is silly and fun to observe each month.) Also, they fit perfectly into and hold up to the wear and tear of pants pockets! I'm partial to the graph (not lined, blank, or dotted) editions because the little boxes contain my all-caps writing with Sharpies and smooth cursive with fountain pens. Speaking of writing utensils, the paper holds up relatively well against the wetter, more diffusive inks of Sharpies and fountain pens. Again, it's the simplicity I appreciate. Like, I'll never be a Traveler's Company notebook user (no judgment) even though folks swear by them. I just do not like being constrained by a particular system with proprietary refills and endless accessories. It's too much. And the only real Field Notes accessories are book darts and rubber bands (to gather my Sharpies, post-its, and lip balm). Recently though, I tried something new with my notebooks. Nearly all Field Notes are portrait style (like most notebooks), but the other day I went rogue and turned mine landscape (like a check register; Gen-Z, google it). It was life changing. Now, there’s more room to write on one line, to continue thoughts without text-wrapping or carriage-returning as often. When open, I put post-it note to-do lists and other ephemera on the backs of the upper pages and write on the lower pages (because Sharpies and fountain pens do still bleed through depending on the speed of my writing). My Field Notes notebooks are less formal journals, more commonplace books. I brain-dump and to-do list, brainstorm and record. I try to complete at least one notebook per month, which can be daunting as I have small yet neat handwriting (even with a Sharpie). Occasionally, I'll take my Field Notes to a coffee shop and cosplay Harriet the Spy. I'll observe the other patrons, practicing description or dreaming up backstories based on scant visual clues. In college, I had a peculiar writing professor who assigned the class this activity as a weekly exercise. The first few times, it was uncomfortable, but eventually I relaxed and realized there's always more to the story, always room for curiosity. As a teacher, I had my own students do a variation on this activity, requiring them to investigate a subculture they did not belong to. I wanted my students to combine different kinds of research (interviews, observations, and databases) and situate themselves as active participants in their projects instead of relying on the passive and pretensive objectivity of the sciences. During this project, I encouraged my students to keep a little notebook to record observations and insights, note questions and curiosities. Some did. Some didn't. Analog isn't for everyone. These were always my favorite projects to grade. As a reader, I learned about beekeeping and bellydancing and the campus quidditch team,* and as a teacher, I witnessed my students' curiosity inform in their writing. My Field Notes are a landscape of thoughts and lists and curiosities and bits of horoscopes and post-its and kitschy vinyl stickers. My Field Notes are one way I exercise curiosity and explore the world around me. Anyway, here are a few of my favorite Field Notes editions: Thank you very much for your time. If you have recommendations or curiosities, please fill out this nifty contact form. Sending y’all supportive, well-caffeinated vibes, Creighton Today’s Pen(cil): Herbin Fountain Pen with unknown blue cartridge * Yes, that terfy ÜberKaren inspired an adorably nerdy campus sports club. Current Curiosities
[Reading] Stuck Rubber Baby by Howard Cruse [Listening] "Daddy Lessons" by Beyoncé and The Chicks [Watching] Ride or Die MAGA AND THE REAL HOUSEWIVES Since Spring 2023, I've belonged to a private Real Housewives Discord, and I've enjoyed every silly take, lighthearted squabble, and the community composed of fellow lovers of all the garbage (complimentary!) Bravo produces for us. I dabble mostly in The Real Housewives franchise and Top Chef (God, I love Kristen Kish so so much as the new host!), and I avoid the "boat shows," the MAGA McBees, and the heterosexual darkness of Vanderpump Rules and it's bleak sequel The Valley. (Bravo, please bring back Backyard Envy and Garrett Magee's slutty lil mustache!) More often than not, we as a Discord community agree on the villains and the current heroes, who've yet to enter their villain eras. Some villains are easy to coalesce around. For example, the OG from the OC Vicki Gunvalson, from Bravo's first iteration of the franchise, The Real Housewives of Orange County (RHOC), is a classic Real Housewives villain. Vicki, a mother of two and insurance boss, often makes queer/transphobic comments, openly supported Trump and his three wildly racist presidential campaigns, and allegedly lied about her then boyfriend's fake cancer to garner sympathy from her suspicious cast mates. Vicki's history of problematic behavior over 14 seasons made it easy for an audience of mostly women and queer men to paint her as the Ur-villain of The Real Housewives. Eventually, Vicki became too toxic even for Bravo, so the network let her go before bringing her back for two seasons of The Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip. Then at BravoCon in 2025, Andy Cohen gave Vicki back her orange for the twentieth season of the show. Now, do I like Vicki as a fellow human? Absolutely not. She is garbage (pejorative). Do I like seeing Vicki terrorize her cast mates? Emphatically yes. Vicki brings a certain chaos that adds life to an otherwise stuffy franchise. Another über-villain is Ramona Singer from The Real Housewives of New York City (RHONY). Ramona, an original RHONY cast member, revealed her darkness over the course of thirteen seasons. Ramona, queen of crocodile tears and quick, meaningless apologies, made a name for herself by attacking Bethenny Frankel (who went from hero to menace over ten seasons) and other younger cast mates. Ramona's descent into villainy culminated in the infamous Black Shabbat dinner co-hosted by new cast member and former Fox News contributor Ebony K. Williams. At the dinner, Ramona interrupted the prayer and made many insensitive (that's putting it lightly) comments about Italians and Jewish and Black people. After that disastrous season, Ramona and the rest of the cast were put on pause while Bravo retooled the show. Also of note, during the pandemic Ramona became a semi-regular fixture at Trump's Mar-a-Lago with her ex-husband Mario. Like Vicki, Ramona was featured on two seasons of The Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip. Then Ramona was promptly disinvited from BravoCon 2023 for allegedly using the N-word when talking to Bravo producers. Unlike Vicki who went from working mom everywoman to the Karen of Karens, Ramona always flirted with villainy, which led to her own downfall. And the audience collectively breathed a sigh of relief when Ramona finally got the boot. When RHONY returned, the audience was introduced to bonkers (complimentary, mostly) new women like Jenna Lyons, Sai De Silva, Raquel Chevremont, and absolute queen Jessel Tank. Erin Lichy, an uptight waspy Jewish woman, was also part of the cast. The audience immediately turned on Erin, who is a Trump supporter and donor to his "stop the steal" fundraising campaign. Erin also responded with typical cishet white woman fragility to criticisms from fellow cast mate Ubah Hassan, a stunning, sharp-tongued model. Erin represented a relatively benign (when compared to Vicki or Ramona) villain who the audience loathed. Aside from her Trump association and basic cishet white womanness, Erin's only real crime was having the personality of a used teabag. Yet the audience loved to hate her. After two seasons, Bravo again needed to recast RHONY with Erin returning for Season 16. (No good summers left Princess Carole Radziwill, a friend of Ghislaine Maxwell, is also returning to the franchise after a six year hiatus.) While Erin never went full racist, queer/transphobe in the vein of Vicki and Ramona, the audience will again inevitably deem her the villain and rightly so for her political contributions and other recent wild public statements. (Or maybe it will be Carole?) A few weeks ago, Bravo's newest franchise finished its stellar freshman season. The Real Housewives of Rhode Island (RHORI), featured Italians and Lebanese cast members reminiscent of the golden early days of The Real Housewives of New Jersey. (Bravo, we don't need RHONJ back. RHORI fills that void perfectly.) From the jump, Alicia Carmody became a fan favorite with her ditzy persona and endearing love of crackers (pronounced crackahs in her thick Rhode Island accent). Alicia is a Trump voter and donor, which is problematic yes, but it's not as horrific as the filmed behavior of Vicki or Ramona and is on par with the benign malevolence of Erin. However, I think Alicia should be placed in the same villainous category as overt bigots Vicki and Ramona even though her actions are more covert and because she hasn't as of yet said anything openly racist or queer/transphobic on film. Alicia’s Trump vote, like that of Vicki and Ramona and Erin, helped to create the environment in which Trump could strip away women’s bodily autonomy, in which Trump's ICE stormtroopers could invade Minneapolis-St. Paul killing two people (see also Houston, TX, and Biddeford, ME, among too many others), in which Trump and Evangelicals could target trans people and their access to healthcare, in which Trump could start a seemingly unending war in Iran and on and on and on. Alicia’s vote for Trump is both functionally and materially violent, racist, and queer/transphobic. Alicia’s vote has real world impacts and creates real harm for marginalized people. In this way, Alicia is just like Vicki and Ramona, but so far she’s better at not getting caught on camera. Alicia is nearly universally loved by my fellow garbage (complimentary) Discord members for being a kooky dumdum. I'm the rare acceptation and find her reception puzzling and inconsistent when compared to other Trumpy franchise villains. Honestly, I do not understand why folks willing overlook the very real consequences of Alicia's Trump vote while laying that same albatross across the necks of Erin, Ramona, and Vicki, among others. Again, on the scale of mega (or MAGA?) villainy, Vicki and Ramona win that hella dark race by a Deep South country mile. But the gray areas inhabited by Alicia and Erin still represent potential villainy. After all, you need darkness to make gray. Please note, I'm not judging anyone for watching RHORI, RHONY, and RHOC. I watch and enjoy them all! But I do think we need to look deeply and critically at who these women are and how they impact the real world around us. Anyway, if you're curious, here are my current favorite cities:
Thank you very much for your time. If you have recommendations or curiosities, please fill out this nifty contact form. Sending y’all supportive, well-caffeinated vibes, Creighton Today’s Pen(cil): Sherpa WTF Sharpie Cover P.S. Bravo, please also bring back Ladies of London: The New Reign. The cast was perfection (minus Margo, obvi). Current Curiosities
[Reading] Howard the Duck by Chip Zdarsky and Joe Quinones [Listenin] Why Won't You Date Me with Nicole Byer (ft. Bruno Alcantara) [Watching] The Real Housewives of Potomac What's Lurking Under My Bed??? For as long as I can remember, I have been afraid of some thing lurking under my bed, waiting to grab my ankles. I have no idea where this fear came from or why it persists. (Could it be growing up on the same block as a funeral home???) Occasionally, I still take a running leap into bed to avoid even the slightest chance of an arm, connected to a hand reaching from under the bed to snatch my legs. For three summers during graduate school, I worked as a camp counselor for a STEM program designed to encourage Indigenous middle and high school students to pursue medical careers. The camp, Indians into Medicine (INMED), was a partnership between the state medical school and Indian Health Services (IHS). We stayed in dorms, ate at the dining hall, and the campers learned in labs and lecture halls. On the weekend, we visited IHS clinics, state parks, and science museums. We had talent shows, water fights, and bonfires. To this day, INMED is my favorite job. Anyway, sometime in the middle of our ten-week program, the counselors gathered to watch Paranormal Activity after all the campers went to bed. We met on an empty floor of the dorm and watched the movie. The movie — as well as the silence and darkness of the nearly empty dorm — scared the hell out of me. When the movie ended, I headed back to my room, pulled a chair next to my bed to use as a desk for my MacBook, and sat down on the bed with my feet dangling. I began checking Facebook (it was 2010 after all), when SOMETHING GRABBED MY ANKLES. I screamed and sat there and thought well, I guess this is how I go. I didn’t even consider fleeing. Or fighting back. I just froze, resigned to my fate. My greatest childhood fear had been realized. Then the bed started bouncing up and down. And finally I heard the laughter. One of my campers was hiding under the bed and there wasn’t a lot of room between the floor and frame for him to breathe — or laugh. Immediately, I knew who it was and yelled, [redacted name], get the heck out of my room! Laughing uncontrollably, he scurried out from under the bed and left. (Don't tell [redacted name], but he was one of my favorite campers.) I did not sleep at all that night. I started locking my dorm room door. And I began checking under my bed. (Something I still do, especially after my annual Halloween slasher film rewatches.) My greatest childhood fear had been realized. I survived like any final girl, and like any solid franchise, it’s only a matter of time until it happens again. Thank you very much for your time. If you have recommendations or curiosities, please fill out this nifty contact form. Sending y’all supportive, well-caffeinated vibes, Creighton Today’s Pen(cil): Rite in the Rain No. BK13 [Mechanical Pencil] Find Joy Where You Can Get It
Originally, I planned a post interrogating my internal cop. But in our season of rapidly rising fascism and eroding First Amendment rights, I wasn't striking the right tone for a reflective post on internalized policing. I'll continue revising this short essay until I find the right feel. Until then, I thought I'd share some things that are giving me joy during these heavy times. In no particular order, here we go:
Of Possible Interest On Friday, October 3, I'm presenting a workshop on navigating Human Resources for queer and trans folks at the North Dakota LGBTQIA2S+ Summit. I plan to cover why HR system are not meant to work for or support marginalized people, how to document harassment and discrimination, and explore some local, state, and federal (LOL) resources. After the workshop, I'll write up the biggest takeaways. Check out that post in November. Thank you very much for your time. If you have recommendations or curiosities, please fill out this nifty contact form. Sending y’all supportive, well-caffeinated vibes, Creighton Today’s Pen(cil): Sherpa Total Blackout Pen Cover [Sharpie] Current Curiosities
[Reading] The Allure of Elsewhere: A Memoir of Going Solo by Karen Babine [Listening] Houseplant's Houseparty Double LP [Watching] The Real Housewives of New York Seasons 5-10 On Pencils and Rhythmic Hands Today is National Mechanical Pencil Day. As an adult, I often use wood pencils for their cedar scent and line variability, but growing up, I loved the precise point of a mechanical pencil. In elementary school, I worked hard to control my shaky hands (essential tremor). My hands had a rhythm all their own. My hands rhythmed before lunch or after recess, when I was tired or wired. (My hands in this moment are rhythmically moving across my keyboard because I'm slightly over-caffienated.) My handy rhythm is most visible when holding mugs of coffee or something for someone else to read — or when writing. My handwriting was wobbly and unsure, which is challenging for a young perfectionist. A few times I cried angry tears in kindergarten because my hands were shaking and my printing looked impatient, wild, rushed. I only wrote with wood pencils, usually the sports ones put out by Mead every back-to-school season. (I always hoped for a Minnesota Twins pencil in the pack, but rarely found one.) But as the graphite dulled, my handwriting became worse and my frustration rose. One day, my piano teacher, who wrote notes on my scores in Bic mechanical pencils, handed me one and told me to keep it with my piano books. I loved that pencil: the fine, consistent line, that click. On our next family trip to Target, I begged for a package of Bics and got one — black barrels with multicolor clips. Immediately, I began practicing my handwriting with the new Bics, finding that smaller lettering, tighter hand movements improved my writing, giving me more confidence. (This would become an issue later when a high school biology teacher threatened to fail me if I kept using my precise, though small, handwriting. But as a very stubborn Greek, I won the standoff and earned an A.) Cursive, too, with its smooth, connected letters gave me more control over my writing and my hands. As a college educator, every time I lent a book to a student for research, they'd remark on the size and precision of my marginal notes. So tiny! So neat! How can you read it?! God, I love students, especially first-year college students while they still possess wonder and curiosity before the mechanisms of Higher Education and capitalism grind it out of them. Some students will hold onto to these attributes, but you won't find them in the Business School. (I said what I said.) My handwriting is mine, something I've worked very hard on — it's deeply personal. My rhythmically shaky hands are mine, too. (Any other Elder Millennials hearing Jewel at this point in the essay?) And with mechanical pencils I learned discipline and control. Later with wood pencils, I relearned to let go, rediscovering the freedom of imperfection (more on that later). Anyway, in no particular order, here are a few of my favorite mechanical pencils:
Thank you very much for your time. If you have recommendations or curiosities, please fill out this nifty contact form. Sending y’all supportive, well-caffeinated vibes, Creighton Today’s Pen(cil): Cross Bailey Light [Fountain Pen] | Colorverse USA Sky Tinted Waters [Ink] Current Curiosities
[Reading] Marsha: The Joy and Defiance of Marsha P. Johnson by Tourmaline [Listening] Beyoncé's Cowboy Carter [Watching] Bravo's The Valley Natasha "Ariadne" Romanoff Outside of taking a group of Indians into Medicine campers to see the midnight showing of The Avengers (2012), I had never seen a Marvel movie. I tend to be very picky about science fiction and fantasy — as in, if it's Star Wars, I'm not interested. Fast-forward to 2020 and the COVID-19 pandemic (and lots of free time). In August 2020, I accepted a position in the Center for Community & Civic Engagement at Carleton College and moved to hella rural Northfield, Minnesota. (The slogan for Northfield is Cows, Colleges, and Community. Uff da.) I didn't know anyone in town, save a handful of my new colleagues. Carleton, to its credit, was navigating the pandemic cautiously, so when I started my new position as Student Experience Manager, I worked from my kitchen table in my one-bedroom apartment in an old Arts and Crafts style house on the St. Olaf College side of town. (Scandinavian Sharks and Jets, baby!) When not Zooming into team meetings or one-on-one virtual coffees, I searched for activities to complement long walks with Diego Dog through our neighborhood. During one of these walks, I remembered laughing uncontrollably with my grad school friend and fellow camp counselor Maggie (a truly stellar human) at the scene where the Hulk picks up Loki, swinging him side to side into the cement floor of Stark Tower near the end of The Avengers. In fact, Maggie and I used to send each other this GIF back and forth for years when students at our respective universities asked silly questions. (Sometimes educators need gallows humor in order to reach the end of the semester.) Reflecting on the Hulk GIF, I decided to watch everything the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) had to offer. All I needed was the internet and Disney+. Luckily, I had both. So on a cloudy afternoon after my last virtual meeting of the day, I began working my way through the MCU in order of theatrical release, starting with Iron Man (2008). I've never been a comic book reader, so each character and every plot was new to me. While I find Tony Stark insufferable, I powered through Iron Man II, where I found my curiosity piqued by Scarlett Johansson's Natasha Romanoff (Black Widow). She started a through line, acted as a kind of MCU guide for me. Aside from Captain America (and! that! ass!), I had not found any of the other Avengers particularly interesting, but Black Widow deeply fascinated me — her darkness just below the surface, her sense of justice, her loyalty. As I worked my way through the MCU, I loved watching Black Widow pop into individual Avenger's movies and every team movie. What I realized is Black Widow, while not having her own standalone movie until after her death in Avengers: Endgame (2019), was stitching together the individual stories of her fellow Avengers. Natasha brings Iron Man and Hawkeye into Nick Fury's fold. She works closely with Captain America in his original trilogy. And she learns how to manage and care for Bruce Banner and his alter-ego the Hulk. As she collects allies, Black Widow leads viewers (or at least this one) through the complicated, labyrinthine plots that when woven together construct the MCU much like Ariadne and her red thread lead Theseus through King Minos's labyrinth (created by Daedalus) to save the Athenian sacrifices from the monstrous Minotaur. Sidequest: Growing Up Greek-ish My whole life I've loved Greek mythology, which I suppose is not all that different from comic books and superheroes. My family comes from the island of Corfu. According to legend, the original inhabitants of the island, the Phaeacians, sprung out of the blood and sea foam, the result of Cronus gelding his father Uranus with a sickle. The sickle is said to be buried under the island, which is why it's sickle-shaped. With such primordial ancestry, I often joke about being the descendant of Titans. As a child, my favorite myths were Daedalus and Icarus (I really wanted to fly), Heracles (what's not to love — muscles and queerness???), Medusa (I'm with her!), and of course, Theseus and the Minotaur. (This was before I realized what a dick Theseus actually is.) As a child with anxiety, the labyrinth represented the unknown, with the prospect of danger lurking around every turn, the potential to be lost forever. Knowing that Ariadne provided Theseus a red thread, a guide to navigate the labyrinth safely, provided a small sense of security — if Theseus could manage navigating the unknown, then so could I. Ariadne's thread, along with Daedalus's ingenuity and Heracles's grit, lessened my anxiety and instilled in me a drive to face challenges with creative problem solving. Focus! Find the Thread! In Iron Man 2, Natasha Romanoff joins Stark Industries on orders from Nick Fury as Pepper Pots' assistant. Fury reveals Natasha works for S.H.I.E.L.D. (so many periods!) and Romanoff and Happy Hogan team up to find Vanko, the Big Bad funded by a squirrelly Justin Hammer. (While I love Sam Rockwell, even his smooth dance moves can't save Iron Man II for me.) Natasha outperforms Happy (obvi) as she topples goon after goon and hacks into Hammer's system to aid Iron Man's final battle with Vanko. This is our MCU introduction to the Black Widow. She works from the fringes, supporting her teammates as they fight bullish Big Bads to win the day. Next in The Avengers, Black Widow, again on orders from Nick Fury, locates and recruits Bruce Banner to join the newly reactivated Avengers Initiative. Captain America, Iron Man, and Bruce Banner join her on S.H.I.E.L.D.'s cloaked sky fortress. (Sometimes, I cannot believe I'm typing words and phrases like sky fortress. It all sounds so silly.) Natasha interrogates and outsmarts Loki and saves her old friend Hawkeye from Loki's mind control. During the final battle over New York City (renters insurance must be astronomical!), Natasha again uses her brilliance and badassery to reprogram the portal to stop Loki's army, allowing Iron Man to redirect a nuclear missile, seemingly sacrificing himself [eye roll]. In these first two Black Widow outings, not only do we see Natasha fighting alongside her male colleagues to save the planet, but we also witness Natasha guiding her male colleagues through the chaos, supporting the collective defeat of their monsters. Then in Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Natasha initiates events by speeding up to Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson (another favorite character) in a sports car. Later while rescuing hostages held on a ship, she yet again hacks into the system, another web of information needed to move the plot forward. (I realize I'm conflating spiders and webs and threads and the MCU with labyrinth, but this slippage is interesting.) Natasha uses her ability to see, to sense the world around her (like a spider feeling silk vibrations) in order to guide Steve through a maze-like shopping mall, secret military installation, and compromised S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters. She deftly detangles recursive webs of secret identities and misinformation to, again, win the day against Hydra's Alexander Pierce and Fascism 2.0. (Uff da, The Winter Soldier feels very 2025.) And the team gains an Icarus of sorts in the form of Sam Wilson's Falcon! (Yes, I know there's already an Ikaris in The Eternals.) Admittedly, I don't care for Avengers: Age of Ultron. It's hella bleak. (Is this our AI future???) In an interesting move, Natasha is captured and her Ariadne is replaced temporarily by Agent Maria Hill (and Fury), as Hill traces Ultron's movements and directs the team to Sokovia to destroy Ultron and his AI goons. It seems Black Widow's narrative thread is to be present, as she negotiates her feelings and culpability in what has occurred in the past and what's currently happening in Sokovia. Her relationship with the Hulk continues to grow, well, before you know what happens. Age of Ultron represents the midpoint in Natasha's narrative trajectory, bringing her low before the events of Civil War, Infinity War, and Endgame. Black Widow's presence is our thread. Next in Captain America: Civil War, Natasha tries to keep her team stitched together through the fraught Sokovia Accords, at first siding with the politicians and a shellshocked and reactionary Iron Man, but then aiding Captain America and Bucky Barnes (double swoon) to escape the Berlin airport in order to unravel Zemo's plan to frame the Winter Solider for killing the King of Wakanda and destroy the Avenger's team unity in to avenge his family's accidental deaths in Zokovia. I love this movie so much. (And Spider-Man's lil tukhus could challenge Captain America's bum for superherioc bottom supreme.) Then in Avengers: Infinity War, Black Widow arrives with Captain America nearly an hour into the movie. These two make such a great team! In a brief yet touching moment, Natasha reunites with Bruce Banner for the first time since the end of Age of Ultron. Black Widow fights alongside the other Earth-bound Avengers in Wakanda to protect Vision, as the Mind Stone is removed from his forehead. In a pre-Barbie-esque scene, Natasha fights alongside Okoye and Wanda Maximoff to take out Proxima Midnight (an image echoed and expanded in Endgame's final battle, though with Black Widow notably absent). In the words of my beloved Spice Girls, GIRL POWER! And finally in Endgame, Natasha leads what's left of the Avengers after Nick Fury and others vanish when Thanos snaps his Infinity Stone-encrusted fingers. It's worth noting, Black Widow leads, while many of the surviving male Avengers on Earth are either MIA or crumbling under the weight of the Blip's aftermath. Natasha and Steve Rogers coordinate the plan of attack to bring back half the universe and destroy Thanos and the stones. In one of the most moving scenes in the Infinity Saga, Black Widow and Hawkeye wrestle over who will sacrifice themselves to secure the Soul Stone from its guardian, a spectral Red Skull. Clint and Natasha hang from a repelling rope. Again, here's an image of a spider hanging from silk, though Clint is the one attached to the rope with Black Widow hanging onto him. Natasha lets go, saving Hawkeye for his family, obtaining the Soul Stone for the Avengers, and irrevocably sacrificing herself in the process. Natasha's sacrifice in Endgame is arguably more meaningful than Tony's snap of his fingers. (Fight me.) Black Widow pays Red Skull's price for the Soul Stone in the hope that her death leads to an Avengers' victory, resurrecting trillions of beings. Rebellions are built on hope after all. (I know, wrong franchise.) Tony, on the other hand, knows (with a nod from Doctor Strange) his bejeweled gauntlet will return half of the universe to life and eliminate Thanos, his henchmen and army of death. Tony knows. Natasha hopes. I realize my analogy is probably (definitely) forced. But for me, Black Widow acts as a kind of MCU pedagogy. Natasha gives structure to this unwieldy franchise by leading viewers (okay, me) from movie to movie, creating a web of growing superheroic connections. Natasha is a steadfast presence, and often she's the calm, level-headed Avenger while the men measure their, umm, powers. In her solo movie, Black Widow, we witness Natasha hand off her MCU thread to Yelena, who plays a similar narrative role, as she dips in and out of movies and series stitching together a new Avengers team. Only a family of Widows could achieve such a feat! Twice. And I'm looking forward to this new maze of entangled MCU stories led by Florence Pugh. Curiously, as of writing this post, Disney+ does not feature Black Widow in their MCU character collections. I'm fully caught up on everything MCU, except The Thunderbolts* and The Fantastic Four: First Steps. I enjoyed Captain America: Brave New World, as I'm just happy to revisit characters and exist in this universe. (This is also my approach to Star Wars.) And so far, Ironheart's first three episodes are stellar! For what it's worth, here are my favorite parts of the MCU:
If you're interested in Greek mythology, check out Let's Talk About Myths, Baby! and Natalie Haynes Stands Up for the Classics. Thank you very much for your time. If you have recommendations or curiosities, please fill out this nifty contact form. Sending y’all supportive, well-caffeinated vibes, Creighton Today’s Pen(cil): TWSBI Go [Fountain Pen] | Colorverse Cat Ink (No. 22) Glistening [Ink] Yesterday, I attended a faculty and staff listening session hosted by the campus executive council. What struck me most during this town hall were the many colleagues seeking answers and reassurances (receiving neither) about how to best protect queer and trans (and BICPOC) students, staff, and faculty from not only the Trump administration, but also the North Dakota legislature — both of which are actively targeting, dehumanizing, and attempting to erase LGBTQ+ communities from society. Again and again, colleagues asked the campus executive council how the university plans to handle laws designed to discriminate against queer and trans members of the campus community. And each time this concern was raised, the executive council, which is mostly male and mostly white, responded with we will follow the law.* We. Will. Follow. The. Law. We will follow the law landed darkly and reminded me of the good Germans who reported Jewish and LGBTQ+ people to Nazis (original recipe, not our current Trump-Musk variety). Law-abiding Germans looked the other way as Nazis rounded up Jewish and LGBTQ+ people and sent them to concentration camps. Good, law-abiding Germans enabled genocide. Moreover, in the United States, slavery was the law of the land for hundreds of years, and segregation was legal for at least an additional century. At what point do we stop following unjust laws, laws designed to discriminate, dehumanize, and cleanse people from society? We. Will. Follow. The. Law. This response from the campus executive council was bone-chilling and highlighted the limits of allyship. Allyship is rarely unwavering, nearly always conditional. Allies have the privilege of dropping their allyship as soon as they face any challenge, any test of their mettle.
For me, this campus executive council listening session resurfaced a question I've returned to again and again since the 2024 Election: Are allies worth the effort when allies can and often do sell you out to protect themselves at the slightest inconvenience? I've spent my post-academic life working toward LGBTQ+ equity, inclusion, and belonging — encouraging straight folks to become allies and advocates for queer and trans communities. Over the years, I've received threats and slurs from colleagues on college and corporate campuses. But I continued to coach one-on-one and facilitate workshops on allyship because I believed the work was important and would lead to a better, more inclusive world. But we are experiencing the regrowth of fascism at an alarming rate through Trump's executive orders, general Republican bigotry, and the indifference of good white people — and now I'm no longer sure allyship is worth the time and energy. So in this atmosphere of rapidly rising fascism and waining allyship, I am winding down Creighton Brown Consulting, which offered individual LGBTQ+ professional development and organizational workshops, to focus on Rough-Draft Thinking, which will explore my thoughts on queer and trans inclusion and other curiosities. The next post will be (hopefully?) lighter in tone. Though I will always be me and will to a fault speak up. Here are a few things that have exercised my curiosity, caused me to reflect, and delighted me lately:
I look forward to you joining me on this journey — and would love your recommendations! Thank you very much for your time. If you have recommendations or curiosities, please fill out this nifty contact form. Sending y’all supportive, well-caffeinated vibes, Creighton Today’s Pen(cil): Sharpie [Permanent Marker] * The listening session was recorded and distributed via campus email. |
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