Current Curiosities

[Reading] Stuck Rubber Baby by Howard Cruse 

[Listening] "Daddy Lessons" by Beyoncé and The Chicks 

[Watching] Ride or Die

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MAGA AND THE REAL HOUSEWIVES Since Spring 2023, I've belonged to a private Real Housewives Discord, and I've enjoyed every silly take, lighthearted squabble, and the community composed of fellow lovers of all the garbage (complimentary!) Bravo produces for us. I dabble mostly in The Real Housewives franchise and Top Chef (God, I love Kristen Kish so so much as the new host!), and I avoid the "boat shows," the MAGA McBees, and the heterosexual darkness of Vanderpump Rules and it's bleak sequel The Valley. (Bravo, please bring back Backyard Envy and Garrett Magee's slutty lil mustache!)

More often than not, we as a Discord community agree on the villains and the current heroes, who've yet to enter their villain eras. Some villains are easy to coalesce around. For example, the OG from the OC Vicki Gunvalson, from Bravo's first iteration of the franchise, The Real Housewives of Orange County (RHOC), is a classic Real Housewives villain. Vicki, a mother of two and insurance boss, often makes queer/transphobic comments, openly supported Trump and his three wildly racist presidential campaigns, and allegedly lied about her then boyfriend's fake cancer to garner sympathy from her suspicious cast mates. Vicki's history of problematic behavior over 14 seasons made it easy for an audience of mostly women and queer men to paint her as the Ur-villain of The Real Housewives.

Eventually, Vicki became too toxic even for Bravo, so the network let her go before bringing her back for two seasons of The Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip. Then at BravoCon in 2025, Andy Cohen gave Vicki back her orange for the twentieth season of the show. Now, do I like Vicki as a fellow human? Absolutely not. She is garbage (pejorative). Do I like seeing Vicki terrorize her cast mates? Emphatically yes. Vicki brings a certain chaos that adds life to an otherwise stuffy franchise.

Another über-villain is Ramona Singer from The Real Housewives of New York City (RHONY). Ramona, an original RHONY cast member, revealed her darkness over the course of thirteen seasons. Ramona, queen of crocodile tears and quick, meaningless apologies, made a name for herself by attacking Bethenny Frankel (who went from hero to menace over ten seasons) and other younger cast mates. Ramona's descent into villainy culminated in the infamous Black Shabbat dinner co-hosted by new cast member and former Fox News contributor Ebony K. Williams. At the dinner, Ramona interrupted the prayer and made many insensitive (that's putting it lightly) comments about Italians and Jewish and Black people. After that disastrous season, Ramona and the rest of the cast were put on pause while Bravo retooled the show. Also of note, during the pandemic Ramona became a semi-regular fixture at Trump's Mar-a-Lago with her ex-husband Mario. 

Like Vicki, Ramona was featured on two seasons of The Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip. Then Ramona was promptly disinvited from BravoCon 2023 for allegedly using the N-word when talking to Bravo producers. Unlike Vicki who went from working mom everywoman to the Karen of Karens, Ramona always flirted with villainy, which led to her own downfall. And the audience collectively breathed a sigh of relief when Ramona finally got the boot. 

When RHONY returned, the audience was introduced to bonkers (complimentary, mostly) new women like Jenna Lyons, Sai De Silva, Raquel Chevremont, and absolute queen Jessel Tank. Erin Lichy, an uptight waspy Jewish woman, was also part of the cast. The audience immediately turned on Erin, who is a Trump supporter and donor to his "stop the steal" fundraising campaign. Erin also responded with typical cishet white woman fragility to criticisms from fellow cast mate Ubah Hassan, a stunning, sharp-tongued model. Erin represented a relatively benign (when compared to Vicki or Ramona) villain who the audience loathed. Aside from her Trump association and basic cishet white womanness, Erin's only real crime was having the personality of a used teabag. Yet the audience loved to hate her.

After two seasons, Bravo again needed to recast RHONY with Erin returning for Season 16. (No good summers left Princess Carole Radziwill, a friend of Ghislaine Maxwell, is also returning to the franchise after a six year hiatus.) While Erin never went full racist, queer/transphobe in the vein of Vicki and Ramona, the audience will again inevitably deem her the villain and rightly so for her political contributions and other recent wild public statements. (Or maybe it will be Carole?)

A few weeks ago, Bravo's newest franchise finished its stellar freshman season. ​The Real Housewives of Rhode Island (RHORI), featured Italians and Lebanese cast members reminiscent of the golden early days of The Real Housewives of New Jersey. (Bravo, we don't need RHONJ back. RHORI fills that void perfectly.) From the jump, Alicia Carmody became a fan favorite with her ditzy persona and endearing love of crackers (pronounced crackahs in her thick Rhode Island accent). Alicia is a Trump voter and donor, which is problematic yes, but it's not as horrific as the filmed behavior of Vicki or Ramona and is on par with the benign malevolence of Erin. 

However, I think Alicia should be placed in the same villainous category as overt bigots Vicki and Ramona even though her actions are more covert and because she hasn't as of yet said anything openly racist or queer/transphobic on film.

Alicia’s Trump vote, like that of Vicki and Ramona and Erin, helped to create the environment in which Trump could strip away women’s bodily autonomy, in which Trump's ICE stormtroopers could invade Minneapolis-St. Paul killing two people (see also Houston, TX, and Biddeford, ME, among too many others), in which Trump and Evangelicals could target trans people and their access to healthcare, in which Trump could start a seemingly unending war in Iran and on and on and on.

Alicia’s vote for Trump is both functionally and materially violent, racist, and queer/transphobic. Alicia’s vote has real world impacts and creates real harm for marginalized people. In this way, Alicia is just like Vicki and Ramona, but so far she’s better at not getting caught on camera. 

Alicia is nearly universally loved by my fellow garbage (complimentary) Discord members for being a kooky dumdum. I'm the rare acceptation and find her reception puzzling and inconsistent when compared to other Trumpy franchise villains. Honestly, I do not understand why folks willing overlook the very real consequences of Alicia's Trump vote while laying that same albatross across the necks of Erin, Ramona, and Vicki, among others. Again, on the scale of mega (or MAGA?) villainy, Vicki and Ramona win that hella dark race by a Deep South country mile. But the gray areas inhabited by Alicia and Erin still represent potential villainy. After all, you need darkness to make gray.

Please note, I'm not judging anyone for watching RHORI, RHONY, and RHOC. I watch and enjoy them all! But I do think we need to look deeply and critically at who these women are and how they impact the real world around us. 

Anyway, if you're curious, here are my current favorite cities:

• The Real Housewives of Atlanta
• The Real Housewives of Miami
• The Real Housewives of Potomac
• The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City

Thank you very much for your time. If you have recommendations or curiosities, please fill out this nifty contact form.

Sending y’all supportive, well-caffeinated vibes,

Creighton 

Today’s Pen(cil): Sherpa WTF Sharpie Cover 

P.S. Bravo, please also bring back Ladies of London: The New Reign. The cast was perfection (minus Margo, obvi).

Current Curiosities

[Reading] Star Wars: Darth Maul - Black, White & Red

[Listening] "The Trees Saw Everything" from Vibe Check

[Watching] Widow's Bay (Matthew Rhys - swoon)


A CASE STUDY IN ALLYSHIP On 18 April 2025, Wisconsin Judge Hannah Dugan confronted ICE officers, there to arrest undocumented immigrant Eduardo Flores-Ruiz, by referring the immigration agents to the chief judge's chambers because their administrative warrant wasn't adequate to arrest him. 

Flores-Ruiz was in court to face battery charges, and ICE used his attendance at the hearing as a trap to detain and deport him. Judge Dugan's actions allowed Flores-Ruiz to slip out of the Milwaukee courthouse, ensuring his right to due process.

I am not defending Flores-Ruiz's alleged crime of battery. Rather, I am acknowledging the importance of the rule of law (when ICE, CBP, and the Trump Administration behave lawlessly every day) and highlighting what real allyship through action looks like. 

Judge Dugan placed her body between Trump's ICE thugs and their target. Judge Dugan put her career and her reputation on the line to defend the rule of law and to protect a member of a marginalized community actively targeted by Trump's violent white supremacist policies. Judge Dugan demonstrated more than allyship through her actions.

Indeed, Judge Dugan exceeded basic allyship becoming an accomplice. Basic allyship requires little personal or professional risk, which is why (cishet white women) allies* are often deeply disappointing. Being an accomplice requires risk - risk to person, risk to profession, risk to reputation - in order to disrupt the status quo and ensure liberation for marginalized communities.

The ACLU of Kansas succinctly analogizes the difference between allies and accomplices: [A]llies are more like cheerleaders, rooting for [marginalized groups and their liberation] from the sidelines without significantly participating [but] accomplices are out on the field, playing the game with members of the community and taking action to further the cause of [marginalized groups and their liberation].

We don't need more cheerleaders. We have enough. We need more fellow players. We don't need more allies. We have enough. We need more accomplices. In these dark Trumpy times, it's not enough to be an ally - you need to be an accomplice. 

CODA For her actions, Judge Dugan resigned her position and was tried and found guilty. Though she was spared jail time, Judge Dugan was fined $5,000 for her actions as an accomplice. U.S. District Judge Lynn Adelman, showing his pre-Boomer agèd cards, said Judge Dungan was a good person who made a bad decision. 

​But we need more good people, more accomplices like Judge Dugan who are willing to make bad decisions if we are all going to survive the next two and a half years of Trump and his goon squad.

Thank you very much for your time. If you have recommendations or curiosities, please fill out this nifty contact form.

Sending y’all supportive, well-caffeinated vibes,

Creighton 

Today’s Pen(cil): Metallic Sapphire Sharpie**

* I am calling out cishet white women specifically because A) they often claim to be allies without actually doing the work of allyship; B) their proximity to cishet white patriarchal power often overrides their alleged allyship; and C) cishet white men will never truly be allies because their power is always already corrupting. Cishet white women are where we can see potential movement; that is, cishet white women will become accomplices only when they renounce their blind allegiance to white patriarchal power. (I believe I'm now firmly in my Magneto era.)

** Uff da, I'm really on a Sharpie kick lately, which means I'm probably seeking stability, permanence in the chaos of our current political moment.

Current Curiosities

[Reading] Create Dangerously by Albert Camus

[Listening] Star Wars: Old Canon Book Club

[Watching] The Sopranos 


Please note this post has been radically updated (1/25/26) since its original upload (1/15/26). With the peaceful protests and brutal federal violence in Minnesota, now did not seem the time to focus on how fascism is creeping into Human Resources. I plan to repost "Words Matter: Divergent Opinions," with a tighter focus on words and their meanings and real-world impacts, at a later date.

​
Rebellions Are Built on 'Ope 

​I'm angry and anxious and heartbroken about what's happening in Minnesota. 

I'm Minnesotan by choice. And I could not be prouder of my fellow Minnesotans as we protect our neighbors and protest the horrific brutality of ICE and Border Patrol agents enacting Trump's retribution (his word) on our state for not electing him three times. (Indeed, Bondi demanded Minnesota voter rolls as the quid for the quo of stopping ICE and CBP violence in Minnesota.)

As Governor Tim Walz said in his address, Attorney General Kieth Ellison's office has set up the Federal Action Reporting Form to document ICE atrocities throughout the state.

Additionally, Attorney General Ellison published this press release alerting Minnesotans that the Department of Homeland Security is digitally surveilling peaceful protestors. Protect yourselves. Use encrypted messaging apps like Signal, but be cautious of Meta's WhatsApp. (See also, the Minnesota Consumer Data Privacy Act.) 

If you document an incidence of ICE or CBP brutality, send the videos and photos immediately to a friend or family member not present at the protest in case ICE or CBP seizes your phone. Then immediately delete the sent message. This ensures your evidence reaches others — including the media — and protects you from the initial search of your phone. 

To my fellow Minnesotans — be vigilant, be vocal, be safe. And document everything.

Thank you very much for your time. If you have recommendations or curiosities, please fill out this nifty contact form.

Sending y’all supportive, well-caffeinated vibes,

Creighton 

Today’s Pen(cil): Silver Fox Tools Mini Caddy [Sharpie]

The title and subtitle of this post come from signs seen at local protests and on r/Minnesota.

​Current Curiosities

[Reading] ​Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451 by Tim Hamilton

[Listening] Lovett or Leave It Presents: Bravo, America! (with Dorinda Medley)

[Watching] Heated Rivalry 


World AIDS Day

Today is World AIDS Day. And for this first time in nearly 40 years, the United States government will not recognize World AIDS Day, a day honoring those we've lost, reflecting on the medical and societal progress we've made, and celebrating the resilience of the diverse communities impacted by HIV/AIDS.

Trump and his Republican Party continue to pass legislation, sign executive orders, and update policy guidelines targeting and harming queer and trans communities, stripping us of basic rights. Not recognizing World AIDS Day is part of the wider MAGA agenda to erase LGBTQ+ communities from American society.

Trump's violence against queer and trans communities is not limited to the United States. His administration made cuts to global HIV prevention programs denying nearly 2.5 million people access to preventive medications. A true accounting of the consequences of Trump's callus and deadly decision may never be known.

This is why real, active allyship matters. This is why supporting and voting for diverse candidates for public office matters — because our health and our very lives are on the line.

Local LGBQT+ Healthcare Resource
The two major hospital chains in town are not always affirming or welcoming to queer and trans patients and often their providers do not have the necessary education to address the specific healthcare needs of LGBTQ+ communities. 

Canopy Medical Center is a safe, affirming option for LGBTQ+ healthcare in Fargo-Moorhead. I received my Mpox vaccine doses at Canopy in 2023 when Sanford Health refused to provide it. My experience at Canopy was great — and I cannot recommend Heidi and her team more highly!


Matthew Shepard | 1 December 1976 - 12 October 1998

Today is also Matthew Shepard's birthday. He would have been forty-nine years old.

I was twelve when I watched the initial coverage of Matthew's brutal murder in Wyoming on The Today Show while getting ready for school. As a closeted queer kid living in red-state North Dakota (which has sadly only become redder), I became terrified of my own identity. That morning, I learned being myself could get me killed. That morning, I doubled-down on concealing my identity, choosing to become (or at least outwardly appear) straight.

I spent the next decade actively hiding my real self from others. I dated girls. I played football (for a season — gross). I joined track and cross-country. I developed a frat boy persona (uff da​) based on straight guys in movies like American Pie. I wanted to be Josh not Christian​, though that I was using characters from ​Clueless should've been, well, a clue that this was not going to work. 

In college, exhausted, my straight-presenting veneer slowly and unexpectedly began to crack. Between freshman and senior years, I went from exclusively dating women to discreetly exploring my identity. But senior year, an argument with a roommate in which I was outed sent me running right back into the closet. (And while I firmly believe no one should be outed, I kinda deserved it.) An invasive grilling by a campus pastor earlier in the week also didn't help.

When I turned twenty-five, I decided it was time to finally and fully be myself, to come out. I was ready. And I did. (More on that later. Maybe. Who knows.) 

For me, there are two legacies of Matthew Shepard's life and death. First, I take my safety and the safety of other LGBTQ+ folks incredibly seriously.

As a queer adult, I felt safest living in Lawrence, KS. I lived in LFK, a liberal bubble in red Kansas, for nearly a decade while working on a PhD. In Lawrence, I felt safe dating and holding hands in public — just existing.

Then, I moved back to Fargo, ND. Even though West Fargo is my home, the metro has become increasingly more conservative and reactionary over this Trumpy decade. In Fargo, I realized I was reverting to old habits — concealing my identity, locating quick exits when near groups of cishet white men, etc.

Ultimately, I prioritized my safety and moved to Moorhead, MN, on the east bank of the Red River. Moorhead feels safer, more affirming and is filled with community-oriented and curious folks. In Moorhead, I live comfortably as myself. (And yes, I avoid crossing to the Fargo side of the Red as much as possible.) 

Second, Matthew's life was cut short, and he was never able to become a queer elder. At nearly forty years old, I suppose I am (becoming) a queer elder. Now, and in new ways, I feel like it's my responsibility to be visible and vocal and take up space because queer and trans people have historically not had long life expectancies. And to bring this post full circle, we do not have many queer elders in the generations above us due to the silence and inaction of the Reagan Administration during the early days of the HIV/AIDS epidemic. Being a queer elder is a privilege — ​one I'm taking increasingly more seriously. 

Today is World Aids Day. Today is Matthew Shepard's birthday. Today we honor both. 

Thank you very much for your time. If you have recommendations or curiosities, please fill out this nifty contact form.

Sending y’all supportive, well-caffeinated vibes, 

Creighton 

Today’s Pen(cil): Jacques Herbin Converter-Filling [Fountain Pen] | Sailor Shikiori Zaza [Ink]