|
I planned on quietly taking the month of August off, but Dolly Parton passed away today. So I'm dispensing with the usual Current Curiosities for some rough-draft thoughts on Dolly Parton's passing.
Like many an Elder Millennial, I first encountered Dolly through mockery on the elementary school playground. It took me years to connect the buxom butt of juvenile jokes (sorry, team, I love alliteration) with the gorgeous, confident woman starring in Steel Magnolias and Straight Talk, my favorite sick day movies when I was a kid. (A baby homosexual!) Also in elementary school, I begged my parents to buy me a copy of Dolly's Christmas album, though which one, I'm not sure anymore. I played that cassette until my blue My First Sony boombox irreparably ate the tape. I listened as I decorated my little bedroom Christmas tree. I rewound and re-listened as I studied spelling words and pretended to read. (I really hated reading. Sometimes I still do.) I fast-forwarded to favorites while making my Ninja Turtles and Barbies enact unorthodox Christmas stories. And while I don't remember the particular Christmas album, I remember the feelings of listening to it - joy and warmth and kindness. I'm sad my first impression of Dolly was through bawdy humor, though she seemed to be in on the joke, often being the first with a witty remark. And by beating others to the punch(line), she modeled being comfortable in your own skin. I'm glad my first impression of Dolly was challenged and complicated by her music and acting and generosity. Later, I fell hard for her music while I worked toward a doctorate in English literature and navigated a hella toxic relationship and workplace. As I listened to "Here You Come Again" and "Dumb Blonde" and "Wildflowers" (with Linda Ronstadt and Emmylou Harris), among others, I reflected on Dolly's optimism and strength. Dolly and her songs became a sort of life preserver during that time, a lifetime ago. Bittersweet memories, indeed. When my grandma, who I've mentioned before, lost her sight, she traded her television for a record player. Dolly was the first record Grandma Gum requested (along with some truly bizarre 1960s Christian-country stuff). I love that Dolly is another connection between me and the Ol' Greek. We differ, however, on which is her best song. I'm firmly "I Will Always Love You," which I first heard via Whitney Houston and The Bodyguard soundtrack, but Caroline remains adamant "Coat of Many Colors" is the superior song. We're generational islands in the stream, I guess. Dolly was more than a signer, songwriter, and actor. She advocated for queer and trans communities and was an early ally during the AIDS epidemic. Dolly ensured children of every socio-economic background had access to books as a tribute to her late father, who never learned to read. And Dolly funded Moderna's covid-19 vaccine, saving an incalculable number of lives. What a human. We should all strive to be more like Dolly. Honestly, I made it through the workday, but once I sat down on the couch and "I Will Always Love You" shuffled on and I let out a sob. What a woman. Dolly was and continues to be pure light and joy. And I will always love you, Dolly. Thank you very much for your time. If you are interested in a consultation or have recommendations or curiosities, please fill out this nifty contact form. Sending y’all supportive, well-caffeinated vibes, Creighton Today’s Pen(cil): Pelikan M205 with Wearingeul Lee Yuk Sa P.S. I hope Dolly and Whitney are kikiing up there and maybe, just maybe, duetting.
0 Comments
Current Curiosities
[Reading] Stuck Rubber Baby by Howard Cruse [Listening] "Daddy Lessons" by Beyoncé and The Chicks [Watching] Ride or Die MAGA AND THE REAL HOUSEWIVES Since Spring 2023, I've belonged to a private Real Housewives Discord, and I've enjoyed every silly take, lighthearted squabble, and the community composed of fellow lovers of all the garbage (complimentary!) Bravo produces for us. I dabble mostly in The Real Housewives franchise and Top Chef (God, I love Kristen Kish so so much as the new host!), and I avoid the "boat shows," the MAGA McBees, and the heterosexual darkness of Vanderpump Rules and it's bleak sequel The Valley. (Bravo, please bring back Backyard Envy and Garrett Magee's slutty lil mustache!) More often than not, we as a Discord community agree on the villains and the current heroes, who've yet to enter their villain eras. Some villains are easy to coalesce around. For example, the OG from the OC Vicki Gunvalson, from Bravo's first iteration of the franchise, The Real Housewives of Orange County (RHOC), is a classic Real Housewives villain. Vicki, a mother of two and insurance boss, often makes queer/transphobic comments, openly supported Trump and his three wildly racist presidential campaigns, and allegedly lied about her then boyfriend's fake cancer to garner sympathy from her suspicious cast mates. Vicki's history of problematic behavior over 14 seasons made it easy for an audience of mostly women and queer men to paint her as the Ur-villain of The Real Housewives. Eventually, Vicki became too toxic even for Bravo, so the network let her go before bringing her back for two seasons of The Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip. Then at BravoCon in 2025, Andy Cohen gave Vicki back her orange for the twentieth season of the show. Now, do I like Vicki as a fellow human? Absolutely not. She is garbage (pejorative). Do I like seeing Vicki terrorize her cast mates? Emphatically yes. Vicki brings a certain chaos that adds life to an otherwise stuffy franchise. Another über-villain is Ramona Singer from The Real Housewives of New York City (RHONY). Ramona, an original RHONY cast member, revealed her darkness over the course of thirteen seasons. Ramona, queen of crocodile tears and quick, meaningless apologies, made a name for herself by attacking Bethenny Frankel (who went from hero to menace over ten seasons) and other younger cast mates. Ramona's descent into villainy culminated in the infamous Black Shabbat dinner co-hosted by new cast member and former Fox News contributor Ebony K. Williams. At the dinner, Ramona interrupted the prayer and made many insensitive (that's putting it lightly) comments about Italians and Jewish and Black people. After that disastrous season, Ramona and the rest of the cast were put on pause while Bravo retooled the show. Also of note, during the pandemic Ramona became a semi-regular fixture at Trump's Mar-a-Lago with her ex-husband Mario. Like Vicki, Ramona was featured on two seasons of The Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip. Then Ramona was promptly disinvited from BravoCon 2023 for allegedly using the N-word when talking to Bravo producers. Unlike Vicki who went from working mom everywoman to the Karen of Karens, Ramona always flirted with villainy, which led to her own downfall. And the audience collectively breathed a sigh of relief when Ramona finally got the boot. When RHONY returned, the audience was introduced to bonkers (complimentary, mostly) new women like Jenna Lyons, Sai De Silva, Raquel Chevremont, and absolute queen Jessel Tank. Erin Lichy, an uptight waspy Jewish woman, was also part of the cast. The audience immediately turned on Erin, who is a Trump supporter and donor to his "stop the steal" fundraising campaign. Erin also responded with typical cishet white woman fragility to criticisms from fellow cast mate Ubah Hassan, a stunning, sharp-tongued model. Erin represented a relatively benign (when compared to Vicki or Ramona) villain who the audience loathed. Aside from her Trump association and basic cishet white womanness, Erin's only real crime was having the personality of a used teabag. Yet the audience loved to hate her. After two seasons, Bravo again needed to recast RHONY with Erin returning for Season 16. (No good summers left Princess Carole Radziwill, a friend of Ghislaine Maxwell, is also returning to the franchise after a six year hiatus.) While Erin never went full racist, queer/transphobe in the vein of Vicki and Ramona, the audience will again inevitably deem her the villain and rightly so for her political contributions and other recent wild public statements. (Or maybe it will be Carole?) A few weeks ago, Bravo's newest franchise finished its stellar freshman season. The Real Housewives of Rhode Island (RHORI), featured Italians and Lebanese cast members reminiscent of the golden early days of The Real Housewives of New Jersey. (Bravo, we don't need RHONJ back. RHORI fills that void perfectly.) From the jump, Alicia Carmody became a fan favorite with her ditzy persona and endearing love of crackers (pronounced crackahs in her thick Rhode Island accent). Alicia is a Trump voter and donor, which is problematic yes, but it's not as horrific as the filmed behavior of Vicki or Ramona and is on par with the benign malevolence of Erin. However, I think Alicia should be placed in the same villainous category as overt bigots Vicki and Ramona even though her actions are more covert and because she hasn't as of yet said anything openly racist or queer/transphobic on film. Alicia’s Trump vote, like that of Vicki and Ramona and Erin, helped to create the environment in which Trump could strip away women’s bodily autonomy, in which Trump's ICE stormtroopers could invade Minneapolis-St. Paul killing two people (see also Houston, TX, and Biddeford, ME, among too many others), in which Trump and Evangelicals could target trans people and their access to healthcare, in which Trump could start a seemingly unending war in Iran and on and on and on. Alicia’s vote for Trump is both functionally and materially violent, racist, and queer/transphobic. Alicia’s vote has real world impacts and creates real harm for marginalized people. In this way, Alicia is just like Vicki and Ramona, but so far she’s better at not getting caught on camera. Alicia is nearly universally loved by my fellow garbage (complimentary) Discord members for being a kooky dumdum. I'm the rare acceptation and find her reception puzzling and inconsistent when compared to other Trumpy franchise villains. Honestly, I do not understand why folks willing overlook the very real consequences of Alicia's Trump vote while laying that same albatross across the necks of Erin, Ramona, and Vicki, among others. Again, on the scale of mega (or MAGA?) villainy, Vicki and Ramona win that hella dark race by a Deep South country mile. But the gray areas inhabited by Alicia and Erin still represent potential villainy. After all, you need darkness to make gray. Please note, I'm not judging anyone for watching RHORI, RHONY, and RHOC. I watch and enjoy them all! But I do think we need to look deeply and critically at who these women are and how they impact the real world around us. Anyway, if you're curious, here are my current favorite cities:
Thank you very much for your time. If you have recommendations or curiosities, please fill out this nifty contact form. Sending y’all supportive, well-caffeinated vibes, Creighton Today’s Pen(cil): Sherpa WTF Sharpie Cover P.S. Bravo, please also bring back Ladies of London: The New Reign. The cast was perfection (minus Margo, obvi). Please note: I'm hella heated and may continue to tinker with my language here and there, but my general controlling idea will remain the same.
Aunt Maries Are Not The Way. Today, I'm skipping the regular Current Curiosities to dive directly into Matthew Vines' wildly offensive opinion essay "I'm Gay, Not Queer. It Matters." published in this morning's New York Times. Happy last day of Pride Month, I guess. Like the titular Uncle Tom, Vines as Aunt Mary seeks to align himself with moderate and conservative Christian and white cisgender heterosexual systems of power by claiming (in the same misguided vein as the Human Rights Campaign) that we are just like you. That gay people, but not queer people, are deserving of equal rights. But as we've learned, no amount of we're just like you will protect queer and trans communities from cishet bigotry and violence. We are always already other. And what Vines is actually saying is I am not like those other queers; rather I, a white cisgender gay man, am just like y'all white cisgender heterosexuals with all the power and protections that I covet - but only for myself. Imagine hating yourself so deeply that you would willingly choose to aid your oppressor as your own community is targeted and harassed, as your oppressor finds new and well-worn ways of stripping your community of its rights to life and liberty. Again and again history and literature show us that the Aunt Maries, the Uncle Toms, the bootlickers themselves meet the same end as the communities they betray. No amount of we're just like you will protect you, will protect us. Vines represents a problematic and dangerous sect of white gays. That is to say, Vines' white and cisgender identities and his proximity to white cisgender heterosexual power overrides his solidarity with broader LGBTQ+ communities - particularly queer and trans communities of color. He seeks rights for himself and those who look like and act like him at the expense of equal rights for folks locating themselves (via sexual and romantic orientations, gender identities and expressions, etc.) under the broader queer umbrella. Queer is an identity. Queer is a call to action. Queer is a movement. Queer is a political statement. Queer is otherness and that is power. Queer challenges oppressive heterosexual and white supremacist systems. (Vines should take a note.) Queer reclaims the slur that was hurled at us (and still is, though fagot seems to be more en vogue these days) on the playground, on the street, in schools and offices and churches. Queer is collective. Queer is our ability to work across our in-community differences in identity and gender and ethnicity and class. Queer confronts white cisgender heterosexual power, but not in the us/them binary Vines asserts. Rather, queer dismantles the systems upholding white cisgender heterosexual power. Queer is emancipatory. Queer is liberatory. Queer is our survival. And no amount of Vines' rejection of queerness or his we're just like you will protect him or any other queer or trans person from the bigotry and violence of white cisgender heterosexual power. Thank you very much for your time. If you have recommendations or curiosities, please fill out this nifty contact form. Sending y’all supportive, well-caffeinated vibes, Creighton Today’s Pen(cil): Silver Fox Tools Limited Edition Mini Sharpie Caddy P.S. This is why I've never been a supporter of Secretary Mayor Pete. P.P.S. This also why I do not support Fargo-Moorhead Pride - it caters too much to the cishets without protest or advocacy for our rights. P.P.P.S. Am I in my Magneto era??? Current Curiosities
[Reading] Teaching Critical Thinking by bell hooks [Listening] The Lizzie McGuire Movie Soundtrack [Watching] Hacks Adapting Diaphragmatic (Belly) Breathing A few months ago, I interviewed with a local nonprofit. The interview did not go well. I hadn't realized that my nervous system was hijacked before I even entered the organization's chaotic workspace. While I prepared for the Monday morning interview, I pushed down my concerns about the nonprofit's close ties to a prominent MAGA politician and what that might mean for me as a queer professional. During the interview, my nervous system was further tested as the cishet man co-founder very obviously rolled his eyes with every answer I gave. And bam, hello imposter syndrome! Curiously, a significant portion of the interview was spent discussing how frequently the cishet man and woman co-founders fight in front of the team during meetings. My interviewers jokingly used the phrase mom and dad are fighting, though as we know, family language in the workplace is always a huge red flag. The cishet man co-founder stressed that this was completely normal behavior and not at all unprofessional. I left the interview shaken, but as luck would have it, I scheduled therapy for later that same day. During the session, my queer therapist* suggested diaphragmatic (belly) breathing to help me focus and regulate my nervous system. After my appointment, I stretched out on the cool wood floor in my living room and attempted to belly breathe. The thing about my anxious brain is that it is great at multitasking. So while I focused on breathing, my mind continued turning over and over my unsettling interview experience. For ten minutes I tried inhaling deeply through my nose, holding each breath, and fully exhaling through my mouth with one hand on my diaphragm (a word I only recently realized I do not know how to spell) and the other hand on the cold floor. Eventually, I gave up and chose an album from my vinyl collection. I placed Mariah Carey's #1s on the turntable and dropped the needle. When "Fantasy" come on, I started singing along like I was in elementary school again. Immediately, I felt my shoulders begin to relax. After Mariah's double LP, I switched to Beyonce's Homecoming and then The Chicks' The Essential. As I sang (and shook it) with these divas (wow, I really did just write that), I realized two things. First, vinyl records force me to slow down and listen completely. That is, spinning records keeps me from hitting next on Spotify, in a never-ending attempt to find the right song. Instead, I vibe with a whole album start to finish. Second, the mechanics of singing outmaneuvered my anxious multitasking brain. As I dueted with Beyonce and The Chicks, my mind stopped mulling the interview, and I began focusing on my breathing, my posture, and the words of each song. Was I breathing through my nose to lift my soft palate? Was my posture supporting my breathing? Or as I'm wont to do when experiencing anxiety, was I hunching over?** And for someone who often mindlessly sings along without actually knowing the words or meanings of songs, was I understanding the lyrics? The collaborative systems involved in singing forced me to focus on deeply breathing and pushed out racing thoughts about the interview, potential MAGA complicity, and my own imposter syndrome. My therapist was on to something (obviously, she's brilliant) with her suggestion to practice belly breathing, but I needed to find a version that worked for me. I needed to adapt her strategy to meet my needs. (needed-needed-needs) And that's the trick. CODA After that harrowing interview experience, you won't catch me at particular farmers markets or night bazaars, but you might catch a glimpse of me singing (and maybe dancing) to release anxiety and reset my nervous system. Thank you very much for your time. If you have recommendations or curiosities, please fill out this nifty contact form. Sending y’all supportive, well-caffeinated vibes, Creighton Today’s Pen(cil): Sherpa X Savage Industries Pen Cover [Sharpie] * We need more LGBTQ+ therapists. Cishet counselors can (and often do) cause real harm to queer and trans clients. And don't even get me started on the foolishness that is Christian counseling. ** I learned a lot about the physicality of singing from my college voice teacher, an amusing bless your heart Southern preacher's wife. Current Curiosities
[Reading] Strangers by Belle Burden* [Listening] Mariah Carey's #1s [Watching] Last One Laughing UK** Hello-hello I know it's been a minute since I've posted on Rough-Draft Thinking, but with the ICE-CBP violence in Minnesota, I wanted to take a break to focus on my community and those directly impacted by Trump's monstrous policies. Can Potterheads Ever Truly Be Allies? With a new series coming to HBOMax this winter and the recent documentary on the making of said series, I feel as though it's time to talk about allyship and JK Rowling. And yes, I know this topic has been covered ad nauseam by queer and trans cultural critics, engaged readers and viewers, and even a few allies. But I know too many otherwise thoughtful allies who engage in Harry Potter capitalism to remain silent. To begin, I have to emphatically say, you cannot participate in Harry Potter in any form (books, movies, television, LEGO, etc.) without being an accomplice to prolific anti-trans bigot JK Rowling. By participating in anything Harry Potter, you are culpable of funding anti-trans hate speech and legislation. I understand some folks don’t (willfully or not) think about the impact of their consumption or refuse to recognize they are part of the TERF-Evangelical-MAGA anti-trans industrial complex and want to protect their favorite young adult series. But under capitalism, how and where you spend money has real-world impacts on marginalized communities. And when I’ve broached this subject with friends and colleagues about how their consumption of Harry Potter undermines their allyship, it seems to touch a nerve. So if you’re feeling attacked, please take a moment to explore why you are feeling this way. And please keep any separating the artist from the art takes to yourself. Those arguments are nonsense when JK Rowling actively uses her massive Harry Potter fortune to target, harass, and dehumanize trans folks. Obviously, I'm taking a hella black-and-white approach to this topic. I recognize I'm ignoring the nuances of queer and trans fans of JK Rowling's work. And I'm not acknowledging the complexities of our individual choices in how we navigate capitalism. However, my stance on JK Rowling's anti-trans hate speech is unambiguous. And to badly paraphrase George W. Bush (I know), you're either with queer and trans communities or you're against us - there is no in between. If you're looking for an alternative to the transphobic and occasionally racist world of Harry Potter, check out Percy Jackson and the Olympians. CODA Anti-trans bigots like JK Rowling really grind my gears, and so too do allies who engage in that ÜberKaren's fictional world. Thank you very much for your time. If you have recommendations or curiosities, please fill out this nifty contact form. Sending y’all supportive, well-caffeinated vibes, Creighton Today’s Pen(cil): Sharpie Fine-Point [Permanent Marker] * It's well-written, but perhaps this memoir should've stayed a Modern Love piece. ** I've never laughed so hard watching comedians trying not to laugh. Both series are truly excellent. Current Curiosities [Reading] On Tyranny: Twenty Lessons from the Twentieth Century Graphic Edition by Timothy Snyder + Nora Krug [Listening] "Unchained Melody"/"You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin'" by The Unrighteousness Brothers [Watching] The Mystery of the Wax Museum Roamin' and Ramblin' into the New Year I can't remember when I first stumbled across Woody Guthrie's 1943 list of New Year's resolutions or which Instagram account had posted it. Before the 2016 Presidential Election? After? Before the 2020? Honestly, aside from wanting to provide attribution, I suppose it doesn't really matter anymore how I found it, but that I did. When I maintained social media accounts, I would post Guthrie's handwritten resolutions, highlighting both his penmanship (a gorgeous mix of cursive and printed all-caps), his doodles, and particularly his twenty-seventh resolution: HELP WIN WAR - BEAT FASCIM.  I added the blue box highlighting Resolution 27 whenever I initially took this screenshot. For more than a decade, we've witnessed a rise in fascism in the United States and abroad. And perhaps by the time I've uploaded this post, we will be at war with Venezuela. Though, the word war is misleading, as the violence is one-sided and the actions of a demented bully wielding the world's strongest military. So it seems, once again, we too are faced with war (on several potential fronts) abroad while confronting fascism at home. Happy 2026, I guess??? HELP WIN WAR - BEAT FASCISM Anyway, the other day, I finished reading Timothy Snyder's On Tyranny, and one thing that struck me, aside from the parallels between our current moment and twentieth-century fascist and totalitarian regimes, was how small interpersonal acts and decisions can flaunt tyrannical control. Indeed Snyder suggests make eye contact and small talk (Lesson 12), practice corporeal politics (Lesson 13), and establish a private life (Lesson 14), among others. Now, I have never been a fan of New Year's resolutions. Resolutions are black and white, pass or fail - or to paraphrase Yoda resolutions are do or do not; there's not a lot of room to try.* That is a lot of pressure to put on yourself at the start of a new year. So instead of resolutions, I am setting intentions for 2026. For me, intentions provide space for missteps and mistakes, for reflection and learning, highlighting progress and process over perfection. HELP WIN WAR - BEAT FASCISM So as I consider the one ahead, I thought I would frame my intentions for 2026 through the lens of Snyder's lessons. My 2026 Intentions
CODA Queer and trans folks may be best positioned for Lesson No. 12 in which Snyder underscores the importance of observing your surroundings as a way of knowing whom you should trust or not. As LGBTQ+ people, we already do this on a daily basis, in new situations and old, with new people and old. This practice has protected us for generations against the radical and religious Right. So keep on keeping on, team. Continue being alert. Continue being cautious and critical of those in power. And continue protecting and supporting each other. [Lesson 12] HELP WIN WAR - BEAT FASCISM I wish y'all a safe, healthy, and happy 2026. Thank you very much for your time. If you have recommendations or curiosities, please fill out this nifty contact form. Sending y’all supportive, well-caffeinated vibes, Creighton Today’s Pen(cil): Sherpa Christmas Lights 2023 Limited Edition Pen Cover [Sharpie] *I prefer Kanan Jarrus' reframing of Yoda's maxim in Rebels: If all I do is try, that means I don't truly believe that I can succeed. Current Curiosities
[Reading] Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451 by Tim Hamilton [Listening] Lovett or Leave It Presents: Bravo, America! (with Dorinda Medley) [Watching] Heated Rivalry World AIDS Day Today is World AIDS Day. And for this first time in nearly 40 years, the United States government will not recognize World AIDS Day, a day honoring those we've lost, reflecting on the medical and societal progress we've made, and celebrating the resilience of the diverse communities impacted by HIV/AIDS. Trump and his Republican Party continue to pass legislation, sign executive orders, and update policy guidelines targeting and harming queer and trans communities, stripping us of basic rights. Not recognizing World AIDS Day is part of the wider MAGA agenda to erase LGBTQ+ communities from American society. Trump's violence against queer and trans communities is not limited to the United States. His administration made cuts to global HIV prevention programs denying nearly 2.5 million people access to preventive medications. A true accounting of the consequences of Trump's callus and deadly decision may never be known. This is why real, active allyship matters. This is why supporting and voting for diverse candidates for public office matters — because our health and our very lives are on the line. Local LGBQT+ Healthcare Resource The two major hospital chains in town are not always affirming or welcoming to queer and trans patients and often their providers do not have the necessary education to address the specific healthcare needs of LGBTQ+ communities. Canopy Medical Center is a safe, affirming option for LGBTQ+ healthcare in Fargo-Moorhead. I received my Mpox vaccine doses at Canopy in 2023 when Sanford Health refused to provide it. My experience at Canopy was great — and I cannot recommend Heidi and her team more highly! Matthew Shepard | 1 December 1976 - 12 October 1998 Today is also Matthew Shepard's birthday. He would have been forty-nine years old. I was twelve when I watched the initial coverage of Matthew's brutal murder in Wyoming on The Today Show while getting ready for school. As a closeted queer kid living in red-state North Dakota (which has sadly only become redder), I became terrified of my own identity. That morning, I learned being myself could get me killed. That morning, I doubled-down on concealing my identity, choosing to become (or at least outwardly appear) straight. I spent the next decade actively hiding my real self from others. I dated girls. I played football (for a season — gross). I joined track and cross-country. I developed a frat boy persona (uff da) based on straight guys in movies like American Pie. I wanted to be Josh not Christian, though that I was using characters from Clueless should've been, well, a clue that this was not going to work. In college, exhausted, my straight-presenting veneer slowly and unexpectedly began to crack. Between freshman and senior years, I went from exclusively dating women to discreetly exploring my identity. But senior year, an argument with a roommate in which I was outed sent me running right back into the closet. (And while I firmly believe no one should be outed, I kinda deserved it.) An invasive grilling by a campus pastor earlier in the week also didn't help. When I turned twenty-five, I decided it was time to finally and fully be myself, to come out. I was ready. And I did. (More on that later. Maybe. Who knows.) For me, there are two legacies of Matthew Shepard's life and death. First, I take my safety and the safety of other LGBTQ+ folks incredibly seriously. As a queer adult, I felt safest living in Lawrence, KS. I lived in LFK, a liberal bubble in red Kansas, for nearly a decade while working on a PhD. In Lawrence, I felt safe dating and holding hands in public — just existing. Then, I moved back to Fargo, ND. Even though West Fargo is my home, the metro has become increasingly more conservative and reactionary over this Trumpy decade. In Fargo, I realized I was reverting to old habits — concealing my identity, locating quick exits when near groups of cishet white men, etc. Ultimately, I prioritized my safety and moved to Moorhead, MN, on the east bank of the Red River. Moorhead feels safer, more affirming and is filled with community-oriented and curious folks. In Moorhead, I live comfortably as myself. (And yes, I avoid crossing to the Fargo side of the Red as much as possible.) Second, Matthew's life was cut short, and he was never able to become a queer elder. At nearly forty years old, I suppose I am (becoming) a queer elder. Now, and in new ways, I feel like it's my responsibility to be visible and vocal and take up space because queer and trans people have historically not had long life expectancies. And to bring this post full circle, we do not have many queer elders in the generations above us due to the silence and inaction of the Reagan Administration during the early days of the HIV/AIDS epidemic. Being a queer elder is a privilege — one I'm taking increasingly more seriously. Today is World Aids Day. Today is Matthew Shepard's birthday. Today we honor both. Thank you very much for your time. If you have recommendations or curiosities, please fill out this nifty contact form. Sending y’all supportive, well-caffeinated vibes, Creighton Today’s Pen(cil): Jacques Herbin Converter-Filling [Fountain Pen] | Sailor Shikiori Zaza [Ink] Current Curiosities
[Reading] Travels with Charlie: In Search of America by John Steinbeck [Listening] We Can Be Weirdos with Dan Schreiber [Watching] Thunderball Stumbles Are Steps, Too This morning, I finally watched The Fantastic Four: First Steps. I wanted to like the movie more than I did. On paper, what's not to like??? Pedro Pascal??? Yes. Sarah Niles??? Absolutely. Julia Garner??? Please. Natasha Lyonne??? Love. Retro 1960s futurism??? Stellar. PanAm blue supersuits??? Fabulous. And yet the stakes couldn't feel lower even as the fate of the world (and a baby) hangs in the balance. Normally, I'm just happy to vibe in the MCU and catch up with existing and new characters. So I wonder if I didn't connect with Fantastic Four because it doesn't feature an established MCU character like Black Widow or Nick Fury — yet. (I felt similarly about Eternals until Brave New World.) First Steps feels untethered from the MCU, and yes, I know it takes place on a different Earth in another universe, but this lack of connection to the broader MCU made the movie feel more like a live-action The Incredibles. The Good
The Bad
The Queer Johnny Storm is a closeted homosexual, no??? Well, let's look at the evidence. First, he sports a (bad) platinum blonde dye job and thick dark eyebrows. Nothing broadcasts post-break-up white gay male angst quite like abrupt and drastic hair changes. Second, little about his overcompensating performance of heterosexual masculinity reads as authentic. He talks about women like he's never been with one, but not in that shy, adorable Captain America way. Johnny does, however, scan as someone desperately trying to overcompensate for and hide his true identity (novel for a superhero movie, I know) from those closest to him. Third, he features a seemingly impressive package in every tight-pantsed outfit — a classic gay sartorial choice. And fourth, Johnny's superpower is flaming. He's literally a flamer. Has there ever been a clearer metaphor??? (I haven't read the comics, so maybe Johnny eventually comes out — or maybe he doesn't and that's his choice.) I may need to give The Fantastic Four: First Steps a second chance with fresh eyes in a few weeks. Thank you very much for your time. If you have recommendations or curiosities, please fill out this nifty contact form. Sending y’all supportive, well-caffeinated vibes, Creighton Today’s Pen(cil): Ooly Fab [Fountain Pen] | Sailor Shikiori Zaza [Ink] Current Curiosities
[Reading] Diarios de Motocicleta: Notas de un Viaje por América Latina by Ernesto Che Guevara [Listening] Someday My Prince Will Come by Miles Davis [Watching] Marvel Zombies Summary: North Dakota LGBTQ+ Summit Professional Development Workshop What I've researched and written below was originally part of my workshop, Queering the Labyrinth: Navigating Human Resources, at the North Dakota LGBTQ+ Summit, but I wound up coming down with whooping cough. In 2025. Uff da. I had great plans for individual reflections and connecting circles and collaborative problem solving. The best laid plans and all that. I do hope to facilitate a version of this workshop in the future. Anyway, what I've written below are some tips on how queer and trans professionals can attempt to protect themselves in increasingly hostile work environments. But protect ourselves from whom??? From the colleague casually using slurs in office conversations??? No. From the supervisor telling you to ignore harassment from your team members??? No. From the department seemingly designed to handle reports of discrimination and harassment??? Yes. LGBTQ+ professionals need to learn to protect ourselves from Human Resources. Indeed, Human Resources was not designed to address the unique needs of queer and trans people. (HR barely addresses the needs of women — and women account for nearly half of the workforce!) HR as a system was designed by and for cisgender heterosexual (cishet) white men, which means HR's only interest is protecting capital and those (mostly white male) leaders at the top of the organizational chart. In order to protect the organization, HR professionals will side with white cishet responding parties over queer and trans (or BIPOC) reporting parties — because it's easier to terminate one LGBTQ+ person than to change the system (and workplace culture). In HR, individual positions function as agents of power within the system. Each agent is infinitely replaceable with each new agent maintaining the upward flow of power, all while having no power themselves — except by proximity, which is inherently corrupting. (Shout out to French philosopher Michel Foucault.) This also means that self-professed allies (ahem, cishet white women) and LGBTQ+ folks working in HR should not be trusted. Their proximity to white cishet power vis-á-vis HR policies and procedures positions them as your adversary not your ally, not your advocate as you navigate the labyrinthine reporting and investigatory process. A false sense of support and safety can emerge with alleged allies and LGBTQ+ community members in HR, which can and often does cause real harm. Always be cautious and critical of all HR professionals. You'll notice my tone is more adversarial than usual. As a queer professional, I've experienced harassment, discrimination, and workplace mobbing on corporate and college campuses. Believing I needed to follow the process, I nearly always reported my experiences under the false impression that reporting would help make the workplace better for me and my fellow LGBTQ+ colleagues. Instead, I often became the proverbial squeaky wheel. For example, as I was reporting a significant breach of university policy, a campus HR leader told me there was a line of people around the block waiting to take my job, so I should reconsider my complaint. These HR people, man. You should also note that I'm neither a lawyer nor a certified HR professional. Instead, I'm writing from my own experiences and what I learned navigating HR systems blindly and without allies or advocates. I'm writing from the vantage point of previously working in a campus Title IX office and seeing cases of clear-cut harassment and discrimination deliberately fall through the cracks in the system. I'm writing from an urge to protect fellow queer and trans professionals from the harms posed by Human Resources. A Brief Note on SHRM SHRM, or the Society for Human Resources Management, is an international professional organization for HR professionals — the world's largest, in fact. SHRM provides training and workshops for HR managers and lobbies local, state, and federal governments on behalf of corporate leaders. SHRM and its army of credential HR professionals set the tone for what is acceptable and unacceptable in professional workplaces. The outsized power SHRM possesses should not be discounted and should be critiqued. You'll recognize SHRM from its overplayed TV ads featuring its CEO suggesting civility is the key to productive workplaces. But what does civility mean for SHRM??? Honestly, I'm not sure. SHRM has a slippery relationship with words and definitions. But for what it's worth, conversations about civility often target marginalized people by limiting reasonable reactions or responses to workplace harassment and discrimination while tolerating anti-LGBTQ+ and anti-Black attitudes. Civility as an emergent HR concept works to silence underrepresented folks while emboldening bigots. While civility in the abstract is a good thing, civility as deployed by SHRM demonstrates HR's steadfast dedication to its founding roots — cishet white men. SHRM has a troubling record, too, when it comes to equity and inclusion. At its annual conference in September 2025, SHRM featured Robby Starbuck as a keynote speaker. Starbuck is well-known for his fight to end organizational DEI policies and practices, specifically targeting initiatives for LGBTQ+ folks and Black people. In 2021, notable anti-LGBTQ+ Fox News personality Gretchen Carlson spoke at SHRM's Inclusion Conference. And in 2019, Drew Brees, who supports and advocates for infamous anti-LGBTQ+ hate group Focus on the Family, also spoke at SHRM's Inclusion Conference. What does inclusion even mean anymore??? Moreover, SHRM removed equity from its DEI strategy in 2024, claiming the organization was rolling equity into inclusion and belonging. This move, however, ignores systemic and intersectional barriers addressed through an equity lens. With its global reach, SHRM is setting the standard, and by extension, the policies and procedures of many organizations. If inclusion for SHRM means featuring anti-queer and transphobic thought leaders, how can LGBTQ+ professionals trust any SHRM-certified HR professional to handle matters of discrimination and harassment honestly and objectively??? Honestly, when I see SHRM in an email signature block, I immediately become cautious and critical. And you should, too. Challenges of Reporting Harassment + Discrimination Making a report of anti-LGBTQ+ discrimination to a supervisor or HR staff member comes with potential consequences, including but not limited to termination (in states like North Dakota). Below are some considerations before submitting a discrimination or harassment complaint:
State + Federal Protections
Documentation Strategies The time to start documenting (as simple as daily journaling or saving all communications) is during the interview process. Continue this practice for the duration of your employment. The accretion of evidence is key to proving patterns of harassment and discrimination or a hostile work environment.
Single-Party Consent Both North Dakota and Minnesota are single-party consent states. In single-party consent states, you can record conversations as long as you have consent of one party. You, yes you are the consenting party and do not need to disclose to the other parties present. (Again, double-check signed contracts and nondisclosure agreements.)
Your iPhone will save the date, time, and location for every recording and you can add notes. Resources
Final Advice Unfortunately, my ultimate advice is if you experience anti-queer or anti-trans discrimination and harassment in the workplace, begin searching for a new job immediately. (I know it's challenging in our current Trumpy economy.) Do not report your experiences to HR. Reporting will only put a target on your back. (Again, for HR it's easier to eliminate one queer or trans employee than properly investigate hostile working conditions.) Once you've secured a new position and have submitted your notice, do not participate in exit interviews or surveys. Your responses will be held against you (if you need a reference or decide to reapply at a later date). And your responses will change nothing, will not prevent others from experiencing what you experienced in the workplace. The house always wins — and HR sets the house rules. Thank you very much for your time. If you have recommendations or curiosities, please fill out this nifty contact form. Sending y’all supportive, well-caffeinated vibes, Creighton Today’s Pen(cil): Modern Fuel Click Pencil [Mechanical Pencil] Current Curiosities
[Reading] It Came from the Closet: Queer Reflections on Horror edited by Joe Vallese [Listening] Lovett or Leave It Presents: Bravo, America! (with Dr. Terry Dubrow) [Watching] Have I Got News for You Today, Wednesday, October 1, marks the beginning of LGBTQ+ History Month, which began in 1994 by a Missouri high school teacher. This month we reflect on our queer and trans history, honoring those who came before us, and continue our fight for equality, liberty, and justice. This LGBTQ History Month is particularly important as Trump and his MAGA regime strip rights away from queer and especially trans communities across the country. Below are a few queer and trans selections from my bookshelf. What additional titles would you suggest folks read to learn more about LGBTQ+ history and the current fight for our rights? Sections From My Bookshelf
If you're a Fargo-Moorhead local, be sure to check out More Than Words Bookshop in person or support them online via their Bookshop.org storefront. Thank you very much for your time. If you have recommendations or curiosities, please fill out this nifty contact form. Sending y’all supportive, well-caffeinated vibes, Creighton Today’s Pen(cil): TWSBI Eco-T [Fountain Pen] | Noodler's V-Mail Midway Blue [Ink] |