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Rough-Draft Thinking

A space for initial, unpolished thoughts on queer and trans belonging and current curiosities

Mini Curiosity: Percy Jackson and the Olympians

12/15/2025

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Current Curiosities

[Reading] The Stranger by Albert Camus 

[Listening] Soul Christmas

[Watching] The Holiday


The Gospel Truth: Percy Jackson Goes the Distance

Much like Real Housewife of Salt Lake City Angie Katsanevas, I'm obsessed with being (half) Greek. Indeed, you can only reread Stephen Fry's Mythos, Heroes, Troy, and Odyssey or relisten to the back-catalogs of Let's Talk About Myths, Baby!, Natalie Haynes Stands Up for the Classics, or The Ancients so many times.

I binged the first season of ​Percy Jackson and the Olympians over a weekend and loved every bonkers minute! And the second season is off to a legendary start, even featuring an ironclad!

Since elementary school, I have been obsessed with Civil War ironclads, which is funny for a pacifist ironically named after a twentieth-century general. But I've been gripped by these silly ships since playing Pigskin and Slamjam in Social Studies. Both were ten-week U.S. geography trivia worksheets that required using actual atlases (books of maps, not the Titan) and encyclopedias (because the internet was off-limits and honestly not super helpful in the 1990s). Anyway, one of the perennial questions asked something like which team would fly closest to a sunken ironclad? and what cape did the ironclad sink in? and bonus: what is the name of the ironclad? Obviously, the last answer is the USS Monitor.

The thing I like most about Percy Jackson and the Olympians ​is how the show (I know it was a book series first, but I haven't read it and do not plan to) translates Greek mythology into a contemporary setting. The show achieves this by layering different historical aesthetics onto the present. In addition the aforementioned ironclad (crewed by the dead), the show also incorporates Art Deco architecture and motifs, which lends an air eeriness and spiritualism and opulence to the show.

Percy Jackson also does a stellar job of imaginatively mapping the mythical Aegean onto the continental United States with the Sea of Monsters translocated to the Bermuda Triangle or the Gateway Arch in St. Louis morphing into a temple to Athena (and a brief critique of American settler-colonialism!) or the secret entry to Hades' realm being guarded by a tacky 1970s-inspired Procrustes in a Los Angeles mattress store. This show! 

Anyway, here is the good, the bad, and the queer for Percy Jackson and the Olympians:

The Good
  • Daddy Poseidon — uff da
  • Mariah Carey saving the day!
  • Jason Mantzoukas and Jay Duplass
  • ​Diverse cast adds depth to mythology
  • Timothy Simons' Gargamel-esque Tantalus 
  • Successfully dodging Disney's dead mom trope

The Bad
  • Feminist icon Medusa meeting her fate at the hand of yet another Percy
  • Occasionally glimpsing Tyson's real eyes under his CGI monop
​
The Queer
While the queerness of Greek mythology and society seems to have been erased for the comfort of Disney audiences, viewers familiar with the mythology can still glimpse it in palimpsestic relief. And Percy and his fellow demigods offer a parallel for queer and trans audiences, existing out of sync with dominant human (hetero-patriarchal) society. As Percy and company navigate their non-normative godlike identities, LGBTQ+ viewers have an opportunity to safely explore ways of being and accepting their own identities.

Finally, Percy Jackson offers viewers a Harry Potter-like experience without all the violently anti-trans, occasionally racist baggage.  

Thank you very much for your time. If you have recommendations or curiosities, please fill out this nifty contact form.

Sending y’all supportive, well-caffeinated vibes, 

Creighton 

Today’s Pen(cil): Spoke Design Icon [Fountain Pen] | Noodler's V-Mail Midway Blue [Ink]

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Mini Curiosity: Decking the Halls with Boughs of Anxiety

12/10/2025

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Current Curiosities 

[Reading] Gaysians by Mike Curato

[Listening] Lovett or Leave It Presents: Bravo, America! (with Bronwyn Newport)

[Watching] Charlie's Angels + Full Throttle


Cue Holiday Anxiety in 3, 2, 1
​
There comes a time for Christmas
And I really have to ask
If this is feeling merry
How much longer must it last?

— Blues Traveler, Christmas, A Very Special Christmas 3

Every year around this time, I feel growing anxiety and a nostalgia, a grief for a past that never really existed. I know it's the shorter days and colder weather. Though I do love snow, and when Diego Dog was alive, I loved taking walks with him in the snow. And I know holidays are layered with unrealistic internal and external expectations. Complicated family dynamics and histories exacerbate these expectations. 

This year, I'm being more deliberate about how I spend my time and with whom. I'm even being intentional about how I listen to Christmas music in order to combat anxiety and to cultivate joy and wonder. I have a modest vinyl collection, which features a few Christmas albums, so instead of hitting next indefinitely on Spotify trying to find the best song for a particular ephemeral mood, I'm slowly down and listening to whole holiday albums.

And honestly, it's really helped. I don't have to think about what song is coming next. I can just enjoy the ride 
— until the needle reaches the end of the track and the record needs flipping. Unsurprisingly, I really like the tactile nature of vinyl (careful of fingerprints, dingdong!). And turning over the record requires movement — stepping away from my desk, taking a quick break from a project — providing a moment to breathe, to decompress, to reset.

Anyway, here are a few of my favorite Christmas albums from my collection:

  • The Beach Boy's Christmas Album 
  • A Charlie Brown Christmas
  • Mariah Carey's Merry Christmas
  • A Motown Christmas
  • Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings' It's A Holiday Soul Party
  • Snowy Setlist (A Target Exclusive)
  • Soul Christmas

Remember to take time for yourself. Remember no is a full sentence. And remember to cultivate your own joy. Wishing y'all warm, relaxing time with friends, family, and chosen family this holiday season!

Thank you very much for your time. If you have recommendations or curiosities, please fill out this nifty contact form.

Sending y’all supportive, well-caffeinated vibes, 

Creighton 

Today’s Pen(cil): Sherpa Ugly Christmas Sweater 2018 Limited Edition Pen Cover [Sharpie] 
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Mini Curiosity: The Fantastic Four: First Steps

11/5/2025

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Current Curiosities

[Reading] Travels with Charlie: In Search of America by John Steinbeck 

[Listening] We Can Be Weirdos with Dan Schreiber 

[Watching] Thunderball 


Stumbles Are Steps, Too

This morning, I finally watched The Fantastic Four: First Steps. I wanted to like the movie more than I did. On paper, what's not to like??? Pedro Pascal??? Yes. Sarah Niles??? Absolutely. Julia Garner??? Please. Natasha Lyonne??? Love. Retro 1960s futurism??? Stellar. PanAm blue supersuits??? Fabulous. And yet the stakes couldn't feel lower even as the fate of the world (and a baby) hangs in the balance. 

Normally, I'm just happy to vibe in the MCU and catch up with existing and new characters. So I wonder if I didn't connect with Fantastic Four because it doesn't feature an established MCU character like Black Widow or Nick Fury — yet. (I felt similarly about Eternals until Brave New World.) First Steps feels untethered from the MCU, and yes, I know it takes place on a different Earth in another universe, but this lack of connection to the broader MCU made the movie feel more like a live-action The Incredibles.

The Good
  • PanAm blue turtle-necked supersuits, though sadly unflattering from behind
  • A quirky and well-thought-out retro futurism 
  • Sarah Niles — put her in everything!
  • Sue Storm's Countess Luann voice
  • Pedro's mustache

The Bad 
  • Clunky dialogue, flat acting, no real stakes
  • Galactus and Silver Surfer gave cartoon 
  • Underutilizing Sarah Niles! 

The Queer
Johnny Storm is a closeted homosexual, no??? Well, let's look at the evidence. First, he sports a (bad) platinum blonde dye job and thick dark eyebrows. Nothing broadcasts post-break-up white gay male angst quite like abrupt and drastic hair changes. Second, little about his overcompensating performance of heterosexual masculinity reads as authentic. He talks about women like he's never been with one, but not in that shy, adorable Captain America way. Johnny does, however, scan as someone desperately trying to overcompensate for  and hide his true identity (novel for a superhero movie, I know) from those closest to him. Third, he features a seemingly impressive package in every tight-pantsed outfit — a classic gay sartorial choice. And fourth, Johnny's superpower is flaming. He's literally a flamer. Has there ever been a clearer metaphor??? (I haven't read the comics, so maybe Johnny eventually comes out — or maybe he doesn't and that's his choice.)

I may need to give The Fantastic Four: First Steps​ a second chance with fresh eyes in a few weeks.  

Thank you very much for your time. If you have recommendations or curiosities, please fill out this nifty contact form.

Sending y’all supportive, well-caffeinated vibes, 

Creighton 

Today’s Pen(cil): Ooly Fab [Fountain Pen] | Sailor Shikiori Zaza [Ink]
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Mini Curiosity: Bumps in the Night

10/15/2025

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Current Curiosities
​

​[Reading] Howard the Duck by Chip Zdarsky and Joe Quinones

[Listenin] ​Why Won't You Date Me with Nicole Byer (ft. Bruno Alcantara)

[Watching] The Real Housewives of Potomac 


​What's Lurking Under My Bed???

For as long as I can remember, I have been afraid of some thing lurking under my bed, waiting to grab my ankles. I have no idea where this fear came from or why it persists. (Could it be growing up on the same block as a funeral home???) Occasionally, I still take a running leap into bed to avoid even the slightest chance of an arm, connected to a hand reaching from under the bed to snatch my legs.

For three summers during graduate school, I worked as a camp counselor for a STEM program designed to encourage Indigenous middle and high school students to pursue medical careers. The camp, Indians into Medicine (INMED), was a partnership between the state medical school and Indian Health Services (IHS). We stayed in dorms, ate at the dining hall, and the campers learned in labs and lecture halls. On the weekend, we visited IHS clinics, state parks, and science museums. We had talent shows, water fights, and bonfires. To this day, INMED is my favorite job. 

Anyway, sometime in the middle of our ten-week program, the counselors gathered to watch Paranormal Activity after all the campers went to bed. We met on an empty floor of the dorm and watched the movie. The movie — as well as the silence and darkness of the nearly empty dorm — scared the hell out of me.

When the movie ended, I headed back to my room, pulled a chair next to my bed to use as a desk for my MacBook, and sat down on the bed with my feet dangling. I began checking Facebook (it was 2010 after all), when SOMETHING GRABBED MY ANKLES. 

I screamed and sat there and thought well, I guess this is how I go. I didn’t even consider fleeing. Or fighting back. I just froze, resigned to my fate. My greatest childhood fear had been realized.

Then the bed started bouncing up and down. And finally I heard the laughter. One of my campers was hiding under the bed and there wasn’t a lot of room between the floor and frame for him to breathe — or laugh.

Immediately, I knew who it was and yelled, [redacted name], get the heck out of my room! Laughing uncontrollably, he scurried out from under the bed and left. (Don't tell [redacted name], but he was one of my favorite campers.) 

I did not sleep at all that night. I started locking my dorm room door. And I began checking under my bed. (Something I still do, especially after my annual Halloween slasher film rewatches.) 

My greatest childhood fear had been realized. I survived like any final girl, and like any solid franchise, it’s only a matter of time until it happens again.

Thank you very much for your time. If you have recommendations or curiosities, please fill out this nifty contact form.

Sending y’all supportive, well-caffeinated vibes, 

Creighton 

Today’s Pen(cil): Rite in the Rain No. BK13 [Mechanical Pencil]
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Mini Curiosity: Joy

9/15/2025

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Find It Where You Can Get It

Originally, I planned a post interrogating my internal cop. But in our season of rapidly rising fascism and eroding First Amendment rights, I wasn't striking the right tone for a reflective post on internalized policing. I'll continue revising this short essay until I find the right feel. Until then, I thought I'd share some things that are giving me joy during these heavy times.

​In no particular order, here we go:


  • Your Favorite Scary Movie: How the Screams Films Rewrote the Rules of Horror by Ashley Cullins — The Scream ​franchise is among my favorites, up there with Star Wars and James Bond. Cullins takes readers behind the scenes during the making of the franchise from initial development of Scream to the current production of Scream 7 ​(plagued by politics). I love these movies. Every Halloween, starting mid July, I rewatch all the films in order. My favorites include the original, Scream 2 (Laurie Metcalf!), Scream 5 (Dewey! And Kirby!), and Scream 6 (crowded terror!). AND KIRBY IS COMING BACK FOR SCREAM 7! Please don't make her the killer.
​
  • The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City — While Beverly Hills was my Real Housewives gateway when it premiered in 2010, and New York will always be my favorite, I love the eerie atmosphere of Mormon Utah and this cast of truly unhinged (highest compliment) women. It's camp! This season opened with a Blair Witch-inspired camping trip to Provo, with the women (and production???) circling the only cast member to skip the outing. Big mistake. Big. Huge. ALL! THE! DRAMA! My current favorite cast members are Whitney Rose (lovable pot-stirring dumdum), Mary Cosby (church leader married to her step-grandfather), and of course Angie Katsanevas (fellow Greek and queen of a hair salon empire).
​
  • Run, Bambi, Run — This true crime podcast tells the story of controversially convicted murderer and prison escapee Laurie "Bambi" Bembenek, a Playboy Bunny turned cop. Yes, exactly! As a listener, I want an off-beat true crime story. Like, Dateline and Investigation Discovery are not for me. They're too 20/20, if you know what I mean. I want quirky characters, high production value, and a complex mystery to unravel — and Bambi is perfect. Also, I prefer true crime that is critical of law enforcement, as is the case with ​Bambi or the fantastic HBOMax documentary on Karen Read's first trial. (You can probably assume who I believe is responsible for John O'Keefe's death.)
 
  • Touching More Grass — Last week, I finally deleted my Instagram account for reasons. I ditched Facebook and Twitter a few years ago, keeping Instagram as my last social media tether. But in less than a week, I've noticed I'm not worried about what I may or may not be missing. (Maybe this is also just me approaching 40???) I'm lighter, more relaxed, more engaged in my day. I no longer doomscroll. (What I do miss about Instagram, however, is Bravo gossip and gay comedian thirst traps. Ahem, Joel Kim Booster and Jay Jurden.) And while I currently maintain a LinkedIn profile, as soon as I find a new full-time job, you can bet I'll delete that account, too. (Anyone wanna hire me??? I'm a thoughtful colleague who loves creative problem solving.) Though, I do still use Reddit for fountain pen news and have Discord to chat all things Bravo with my fellow Garbagios. 
 
  • Intentional Hangs with Friends — As I slowly whittled down my social media presence and decreased my screen time, I realized I needed to be more intentional in my efforts to connect with friends in person, instead of getting life updates via timelines or TikToks. (It's unnerving how social media can make you feel simultaneously connected and disconnected.) As a social introvert, it feels strange exercising this IRL social muscle, a muscle that atrophied during the pandemic and has never fully recovered. Sometimes, I dread the commitments earlier me made, but then when I'm present having coffee or walking with a friend, I feel reenergized, more engaged. I get to hear what's happening in their lives, learn about their curiosities. I get to listen and ask questions. 
 
  • Fountain Pens, Duh — I appreciate how the complex, coordinated process of handwriting slows down my constantly pin-balling brain, focusing my attention on the writing task at hand: outlining a workshop (see below), writing a cover letter (hire me???), or drafting an essay (on pesky internal cops). Everything I write starts in a notebook or on a post-it before I commit it digitally. And journaling by hand helps me brain dump, process challenges, and explore new curiosities. Currently, I have a Lanbitou 3088 inked with Monteverde Horizon Blue and am using it for marginal notes in Nico Lang's American Teenager: How Trans Are Surviving Hate and Finding Joy in a Turbulent Era. 

  • Other things bringing me joy: rewatching Red, White & Royal Blue and Fire Island (love a queer romcom), jogging on the treadmill (a foxy pharmacist recently complimented my calves), and binging ​Ladies of London with evening mochas (what is a good night's sleep anyway???). 
​ 
Of Possible Interest

On Friday, October 3, I'm presenting a workshop on navigating Human Resources for queer and trans folks at the North Dakota LGBTQIA2S+ Summit. I plan to cover why HR system are not meant to work for or support marginalized people, how to document harassment and discrimination, and explore some local, state, and federal (LOL) resources. After the workshop, I'll write up the biggest takeaways. Check out that post in November. 

Thank you very much for your time. If you have recommendations or curiosities, please fill out this nifty contact form.

Sending y’all supportive, well-caffeinated vibes, 

Creighton 

Today’s Pen(cil): Sherpa Total Blackout Pen Cover [Sharpie] 
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Mini Curiosity: Shōgun

9/5/2025

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My Postcolonial Brain Doesn't Have an Off-Switch 

I'm hella late to this, but I'm finally watching Hulu's Shōgun, which I'm loving. I'd avoided the show for two reasons. First, I've always looked sideways at cishet white guys who fetishize Japanese culture and women. (​Marvel and Star Wars ​have plundered Japanese culture for decades for mostly Western audiences.) Appreciation or respect is one thing, but fetishism or appropriation is another. I made assumptions about Shōgun based on experiences and observations of this particular kind of white cishet dude in high school and college and did not want to participate in their problematic aesthetics and politics. (However, I do adore Japanese stationery.)

Second, after leaving academia, I found it hard to read for fun, and with Shōgun's subtitles, I was hesitant to watch, not sure I would have the focus needed. My mind now wanders to past experiences in the silence of reading. But this past week, I finally started watching Shōgun, and with two episodes left (I'm trying unsuccessfully to pace myself), I'm hooked. It's stunningly shot; the costumes are gorgeous; and the acting is brilliant!

And yet, I cannot turn off my brain's need to analyze, to contextualize, to theorize about this fascinatingly complex show. While others may have already written on this (I have not checked, as this post is more reader response than researched essay), I was initially concerned Shōgun represents a sort of exoticism 2.0. The show is based on the novel by a British author. I'm generally suspicious of white men writing about the lives, experiences, and cultures of others​. That one of the show runners is of Japanese descent gives me hope this is not another orientalist (in the Said sense) take on Japanese history and culture. Again, I do love this show. 

Anyway, Blackthorne's brutish behavior is rightly off-putting (though his behind is deeply engrossing). He's like an other-side-of-the-world John Smith to Mariko's Pocahontas. (That is truly a shit analogy.) I find Blackthorne deeply irritating. Though, perhaps as a Western audience, we need him as our in to the story and this particular period of Japan's history. I do like Blackthrone's unlikability. And in this way, he presents a more complicated, less mythic version of the prototypical English explorer.

Protestant Blackthorne becomes slightly more likable when juxtaposed with the Portuguese Catholics, both faith leaders and merchants. It's not hard to turn historic Catholics into villains when for over two millennia the Church has pillaged and raped, enslaved and genocided all over the New World. And while English Protestants were equally as barbaric in their imperial enterprises, there's something more sinister about the Catholic Church actively participating in these practices, without atoning, to enrich its own coffers in the name of God​, whatever that means. (This critique may sound harsh, but as a queer person, I have little patience for the Church's anti-LGBTQ+ practices and policies and the harms the Church has committed on generations of queer and trans people, again, without atonement.)

The women of Shōgun are the most fascinating to me. For example, Mariko is caught between an abusive husband and Blackthorne as well as Toranaga and the remaining four regents. Mariko shows wisdom and strength and calmness in the eye of this powerful storm. As interpreter for Blackthorne and Toranaga, Mariko neutralizes aggressive sentiments, creating stability for this new shaky East-West alliance. Lady Ochiba's revenge-fueled rise to power confounds the patriarchal regents as she works to ensure her son remains the heir of the deceased Taikō. There's Usami Fuji, Blackthorne's consort, who overcomes the death of both her husband and infant. And there's Gin, the enterprising madam of the tea house, who argues in favor of the unionization and professionalization of courtesans to protect and lift up women. While the men tear each other apart, the women scheme for a better existence, a different world.

Surprisingly, Yabushige became one of my favorite characters.
I was ready for him to die after the first episode, but man, has he won me over. Did he boil a man alive??? Yes. Was it hella gross??? Also, yes. But is he funny as he attempts to survive the political power struggle??? Absolutely. I'm curious what's in store for him, Mariko, and the rest of Toranaga's clan in the remaining two episodes.

​And I'm happy to learn two more seasons are in the works! 

UPDATE: I finished the season. A little shellshocked. 
Uff da. ​

Thank you very much for your time. If you have recommendations or curiosities, please fill out this nifty contact form.

Sending y’all supportive, well-caffeinated vibes, 

Creighton 

Today’s Pen(cil): Lanbitou 3088 [Fountain Pen] | Monteverde Horizon Blue [Ink]
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