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Current Curiosities [Reading] On Tyranny: Twenty Lessons from the Twentieth Century Graphic Edition by Timothy Snyder + Nora Krug [Listening] "Unchained Melody"/"You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin'" by The Unrighteousness Brothers [Watching] The Mystery of the Wax Museum Roamin' and Ramblin' into the New Year I can't remember when I first stumbled across Woody Guthrie's 1943 list of New Year's resolutions or which Instagram account had posted it. Before the 2016 Presidential Election? After? Before the 2020? Honestly, aside from wanting to provide attribution, I suppose it doesn't really matter anymore how I found it, but that I did. When I maintained social media accounts, I would post Guthrie's handwritten resolutions, highlighting both his penmanship (a gorgeous mix of cursive and printed all-caps), doodles, and particularly his twenty-seventh resolution: HELP WIN WAR - BEAT FASCIM.  I added the blue box highlighting Resolution 27 whenever I initially took this screenshot. For more than a decade, we've witnessed a rise in fascism in the United States and abroad. And perhaps by the time I've uploaded this post, we will be at war with Venezuela. Though, the word war is misleading, as the violence is one-sided and the actions of a demented bully wielding the world's strongest military. So it seems, once again, we too are faced with war (on several potential fronts) abroad while confronting fascism at home. Happy 2026, I guess??? HELP WIN WAR - BEAT FASCISM Anyway, the other day, I finished reading Timothy Snyder's On Tyranny, and one thing that struck me, aside from the parallels between our current moment and twentieth-century fascist and totalitarian regimes, was how small interpersonal acts and decisions can flaunt tyrannical control. Indeed Snyder suggests make eye contact and small talk (Lesson 12), practice corporeal politics (Lesson 13), and establish a private life (Lesson 14), among others. Now, I have never been a fan of New Year's resolutions. Resolutions are black and white, pass or fail - or to paraphrase Yoda resolutions are do or do not; there's not a lot of room to try.* That is a lot of pressure to put on yourself at the start of a new year. So instead of resolutions, I am setting intentions for 2026. For me, intentions provide space for missteps and mistakes, for reflection and learning, highlighting progress and process over perfection. HELP WIN WAR - BEAT FASCISM So as I reflect on the year behind us and consider the one ahead, I thought I would frame my intentions for 2026 through the lens of Snyder's lessons. My 2026 Intentions
CODA Queer and trans folks may be best positioned for Lesson No. 12 in which Snyder underscores the importance of observing your surroundings as a way of knowing whom you should trust or not. As LGBTQ+ people, we already do this on a daily basis, in new situations and old, with new people and old. This practice has protected us for generations against the radical and religious Right. So keep on keeping on, team. Continue being alert. Continue being cautious and critical of those in power. And continue protecting and supporting each other. [Lesson 12] HELP WIN WAR - BEAT FASCISM I wish y'all a safe, healthy, and happy 2026. Thank you very much for your time. If you have recommendations or curiosities, please fill out this nifty contact form. Sending y’all supportive, well-caffeinated vibes, Creighton Today’s Pen(cil): Sherpa Christmas Lights 2023 Limited Edition Pen Cover [Sharpie] *I prefer Kanan Jarrus' reframing of Yoda's maxim in Rebels: If all I do is try, that means I don't truly believe that I can succeed.
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Current Curiosities [Reading] Gaysians by Mike Curato [Listening] Lovett or Leave It Presents: Bravo, America! (with Bronwyn Newport) [Watching] Charlie's Angels + Full Throttle Cue Holiday Anxiety in 3, 2, 1 There comes a time for Christmas Every year around this time, I feel growing anxiety and a nostalgia, a grief for a past that never really existed. I know it's the shorter days and colder weather. Though I do love snow, and when Diego Dog was alive, I loved taking walks with him in the snow. And I know holidays are layered with unrealistic internal and external expectations. Complicated family dynamics and histories exacerbate these expectations. This year, I'm being more deliberate about how I spend my time and with whom. I'm even being intentional about how I listen to Christmas music in order to combat anxiety and to cultivate joy and wonder. I have a modest vinyl collection, which features a few Christmas albums, so instead of hitting next indefinitely on Spotify trying to find the best song for a particular ephemeral mood, I'm slowly down and listening to whole holiday albums. And honestly, it's really helped. I don't have to think about what song is coming next. I can just enjoy the ride — until the needle reaches the end of the track and the record needs flipping. Unsurprisingly, I really like the tactile nature of vinyl (careful of fingerprints, dingdong!). And turning over the record requires movement — stepping away from my desk, taking a quick break from a project — providing a moment to breathe, to decompress, to reset. Anyway, here are a few of my favorite Christmas albums from my collection:
Remember to take time for yourself. Remember no is a full sentence. And remember to cultivate your own joy. Wishing y'all warm, relaxing time with friends, family, and chosen family this holiday season! Thank you very much for your time. If you have recommendations or curiosities, please fill out this nifty contact form. Sending y’all supportive, well-caffeinated vibes, Creighton Today’s Pen(cil): Sherpa Ugly Christmas Sweater 2018 Limited Edition Pen Cover [Sharpie] Find It Where You Can Get It
Originally, I planned a post interrogating my internal cop. But in our season of rapidly rising fascism and eroding First Amendment rights, I wasn't striking the right tone for a reflective post on internalized policing. I'll continue revising this short essay until I find the right feel. Until then, I thought I'd share some things that are giving me joy during these heavy times. In no particular order, here we go:
Of Possible Interest On Friday, October 3, I'm presenting a workshop on navigating Human Resources for queer and trans folks at the North Dakota LGBTQIA2S+ Summit. I plan to cover why HR system are not meant to work for or support marginalized people, how to document harassment and discrimination, and explore some local, state, and federal (LOL) resources. After the workshop, I'll write up the biggest takeaways. Check out that post in November. Thank you very much for your time. If you have recommendations or curiosities, please fill out this nifty contact form. Sending y’all supportive, well-caffeinated vibes, Creighton Today’s Pen(cil): Sherpa Total Blackout Pen Cover [Sharpie] Current Curiosities
[Reading] American Teenager: How Trans Kids Are Surviving Hate and Finding Joy in a Turbulent Era by Nico Lang [Listening] Unicorn Girl [Watching] Thunderbolts* Transparent Writing Whenever I'm feeling anxious or need to start a new writing project, I close my laptop, set aside my iPhone, and either journal or outline essays by hand. Lately, more often than not, I use a fountain pen. The controlled pressure and movements slow down my brain, allowing me to deeply consider my thoughts and feelings, to take stock of what's going on or what I need to accomplish. I have a theory about particular writing instruments and what they connote about my own frame of mind. I've noticed when I'm feeling afloat and needing a sense of permanence, I write with Sharpie. When I'm exploring new ideas or need space for mistakes, I use pencils (either wooden or mechanical). While engineering marvels, I usually avoid ballpoint pens, as their ink is clumpy and inconsistent. But when I'm feeling confident and content, I return again and again to fountain pens. I'm probably overthinking these everyday tools, but their usage often corresponds to what's happening in my life. Working with children or for a construction company? Sharpie, it is. Working in Higher Education, pencils offer the pretense of impermanence. Pencils' erasability communicates writing is a process and nothing is fixed permanently in place. And then there's fountain pens. Thought, sometimes I'm too shy to use fountain pens in public — either in the office or at a coffeeshop — because Fargo-Moorhead is weirdly conservative for a relatively diverse Upper Midwestern metropolitan center, and as a queer person, I try not to draw extra attention to myself. But fountain pens are where my writing heart lies. In first grade, my parents asked me what I wanted instead of flowers for my first piano recital. (As a shy, anxious kid, I was ready to have the experience of playing an oversimplified Ode to Joy behind me.)I thought long and hard about what I wanted. A new Lego set??? Something else??? Then one Saturday a few weeks before my recital, my parents took my sister and me to Zandbroz, a now-shuttered eclectic home goods and stationery store anchoring Downtown Fargo. (In the 1990s and early 2000s, Downtown Fargo was hella queer. Sadly, in recent decades Downtown Fargo has been Burgumized, lobotomized, sanitized of queerness and culture in favor of the beige comfort of conservative white women.) Anyway, I wandered around the store, discovering glass display cases full of pens neatly knolled — ballpoints, rollerballs, and of course, fountain pens! While my dad browsed books and my mom and older sister perused bath and beauty products, I scoured the pen cases. The shopkeep (a queer woman, who I'd later encounter again working in my undergraduate library) came over and asked if I wanted to see anything up close. Fuck yes! I asked to see a blue plastic Lamy Safari, an ACME Studios No.2 Pencil, and a black-lacquered Cross, among others. But what caught my seven-year-old eye was an inexpensive colorful Parker Vector. The barrel was covered in a Mondrian-inspired pattern and had a black arrowhead clip. I told the shopkeep what it was for, and she asked if I wanted a box, as this particular pen was open stock. As she boxed up my new fountain pen, she slid a few extra blue ink cartridges on the house. What a kindness! Now, I had to wait a couple weeks to receive the pen after completing my Ode to Joy performance. I thought about that pen every day until the day of the recital. As everyone else received carnations and roses, I was handed a wrapped box. I was so excited to open it that I barely made it to the car before tearing into the package. I slept with it and a spiral-bound pocket notebook under my pillow for weeks and found excuses to write anything and everything down. One of my favorite books (and movies) growing up was Harriet the Spy, and like Harriet, I wanted to explore and document the world around me. I used that Parker Vector until the plastic barrel cracked from my screwing the section and barrel too tightly together. Overtime, I've forgotten what became of that pen. Maybe it's in a box of childhood stuff in my parents' basement??? During my doctoral program, while trying to find anything to do other than research for-profit immigration detention centers, I got the urge to find another colorful Parker Vector fountain pen — either used or new old stock (my preference). I still have yet to find one, but I have purchased several of the rollerball version on eBay. Nostalgia is a helluva drug. When I studied in Spain junior year of undergrad, my family would send occasional care packages. My sister and brother-in-law sent an iPod Shuffle after my blue iPod Mini died on Day One in Segovia, as I danced to the Spice Girls "Wannabe" across the Plaza Mayor on my way to class. (Can you believe I was still passing as straight???) I say sent because when I opened the box, there was no iPod in the package among the candy and jars of peanut butter. (Peanut butter is my favorite food, and it was not very popular in Spain at the time.) I called my sister on my Orange Mobile cellphone and asked if the missing iPod mentioned in the enclosed card was a joke. Shocked, she said no. Later, we learned the person who packed the box at UPS had stolen the iPod before sealing package. So I read a lot of books on buses and trains and planes and between classes. The next package I received was from my parents. Hidden among the jars of peanut butter (I don't think y'all understand my deep love of this pantry staple!) and other surprises was a box the size of a glasses case. On the outside of the brown box Cross was embossed in gold foil. I dropped the care package on my bed and opened the smaller box (more carefully than my former Parker Vector). Inside I found a royal blue Cross Century II fountain pen with several black ink cartridges. I used this pen every day to take notes in my art history, literature, and Guerra Civil classes. I used this fountain pen when I sat (in-need of introverted recharge) and journaled in the sunshine on the steps next to the Roman aqueduct or in the shade of the scenic Alameda or outside La Colonial drinking chocolate. (Not realizing I needed to empty and clean the fountain pen before flying home, my Payne's Grey military-inspired jacket, which I bought in Barcelona, still carries a small black reminder next to one of its pockets.) While I loved this Cross fountain pen (and still do), I noticed I would become anxious not knowing how much ink was left in the cartridge or converter. I'm a planner and wanted to easily know if I had enough ink for the day. This might be a symptom of my low-key anxiety, which is conveniently complemented by post-traumatic stress disorder (a lovely gift from my doctoral program). How could I comfortably use fountain pens, if they were causing additional stress??? While scouring one of my go-to online stationery shops, JetPens, for new pen(cil)s and notebooks, I discovered demonstrator fountain pens. Demonstrators feature transparent barrels, usually clear, though sometimes shaded, allowing the writer to see how the pen's internal mechanisms work, and more importantly, how much ink is left. From childhood through adulthood, I've always been curious about how things work. I'd take apart any and every ballpoint or rollerball pen hand to me. My favorite question to ask has always been why?, which annoyed several teachers, both of my parents, and a few past supervisors. I need to know the how and why. (I think this is why I'm good at translating complex theories and systems and STEM concepts into understandable copy in my professional life.) While writing with demonstrators, I witness the mechanism in action. I see the ink move from the chamber, through the section, and down the feed using capillary action as the knife-like nib connects ink to notebook paper. I can monitor ink levels and the inevitable settling of shimmering elements. Demonstrators have become my go-to fountain pens by removing the unknown. Some demonstrators use visible cartridges or converters. Some are high-capacity eyedroppers (pens that don't use cartridges or converters, but instead are filled by loading ink directly into the barrel). Others have built-in filling systems (piston or vacuum), which free you from the messiness of converters and the waste of plastic cartridges. These are my favorite style of fountain pen. Having taught interdisciplinary courses on literature and Environmental Studies at the University of Kansas, I'm particularly drawn to this ecological angle of fountain pens. Not only can I see how much ink I have for the day, but also I am contributing less plastic waste by foregoing cartridges. The other thing I appreciate about demonstrator fountain pens is they show off the vibrant color of each new ink. Most of mine are inked with blue hues (see below), though one is loaded with Noodler's Borealis Black ink for boring official documents. I usually have four or five demonstrators inked at a time, as each model has its own idiosyncrasies depending on its weight, material, and nib size. Different inks also change the way a particular fountain pen writes. (The combinations of foundation pens and inks and papers is endless and a way to unleash my curiosity and experimentation.) One of the cool things about fountain pens is over time nibs conform to your individual pressure and style of writing. (Never lend someone your fountain pen; unintentionally and just by writing normally, they will fuck up the conditioning of your nib.) Your hand learns the singularities of a specific fountain pen and the pen adapts to your touch. It probably doesn't surprise you that I outlined and initially drafted this essay using a demonstrator fountain pen (TWSBI Eco with Noodler's V-Mail Midway Blue — see below). Writing by hand and especially with a fountain pen, slows down my anxious brain. Writing with demonstrators grounds me, in the way dog walks used to, in the way others use the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique. Writing with fountain pens allows to me to silence, to exorcise my anxious inner cop (more on this in the next post). Writing with demonstrators, with their exposed mechanisms and visible ink chambers, keeps me curious about the world and its machinations. And now that you've made this far, here are some of my favorite fountain pens and inks. Current Favorite Demonstrator Fountain Pens
Demonstrators on My To-Buy List
Current Favorite (Blue) Inks
Thank you very much for your time. If you have recommendations or curiosities, please fill out this nifty contact form. Sending y’all supportive, well-caffeinated vibes, Creighton Today’s Pen(cil): Sherpa WTF Pen Cover [Sharpie] Yesterday, I attended a faculty and staff listening session hosted by the campus executive council. What struck me most during this town hall were the many colleagues seeking answers and reassurances (receiving neither) about how to best protect queer and trans (and BICPOC) students, staff, and faculty from not only the Trump administration, but also the North Dakota legislature — both of which are actively targeting, dehumanizing, and attempting to erase LGBTQ+ communities from society. Again and again, colleagues asked the campus executive council how the university plans to handle laws designed to discriminate against queer and trans members of the campus community. And each time this concern was raised, the executive council, which is mostly male and mostly white, responded with we will follow the law.* We. Will. Follow. The. Law. We will follow the law landed darkly and reminded me of the good Germans who reported Jewish and LGBTQ+ people to Nazis (original recipe, not our current Trump-Musk variety). Law-abiding Germans looked the other way as Nazis rounded up Jewish and LGBTQ+ people and sent them to concentration camps. Good, law-abiding Germans enabled genocide. Moreover, in the United States, slavery was the law of the land for hundreds of years, and segregation was legal for at least an additional century. At what point do we stop following unjust laws, laws designed to discriminate, dehumanize, and cleanse people from society? We. Will. Follow. The. Law. This response from the campus executive council was bone-chilling and highlighted the limits of allyship. Allyship is rarely unwavering, nearly always conditional. Allies have the privilege of dropping their allyship as soon as they face any challenge, any test of their mettle.
For me, this campus executive council listening session resurfaced a question I've returned to again and again since the 2024 Election: Are allies worth the effort when allies can and often do sell you out to protect themselves at the slightest inconvenience? I've spent my post-academic life working toward LGBTQ+ equity, inclusion, and belonging — encouraging straight folks to become allies and advocates for queer and trans communities. Over the years, I've received threats and slurs from colleagues on college and corporate campuses. But I continued to coach one-on-one and facilitate workshops on allyship because I believed the work was important and would lead to a better, more inclusive world. But we are experiencing the regrowth of fascism at an alarming rate through Trump's executive orders, general Republican bigotry, and the indifference of good white people — and now I'm no longer sure allyship is worth the time and energy. So in this atmosphere of rapidly rising fascism and waining allyship, I am winding down Creighton Brown Consulting, which offered individual LGBTQ+ professional development and organizational workshops, to focus on Rough-Draft Thinking, which will explore my thoughts on queer and trans inclusion and other curiosities. The next post will be (hopefully?) lighter in tone. Though I will always be me and will to a fault speak up. Here are a few things that have exercised my curiosity, caused me to reflect, and delighted me lately:
I look forward to you joining me on this journey — and would love your recommendations! Thank you very much for your time. If you have recommendations or curiosities, please fill out this nifty contact form. Sending y’all supportive, well-caffeinated vibes, Creighton Today’s Pen(cil): Sharpie [Permanent Marker] * The listening session was recorded and distributed via campus email. |