Mini Curiosity: The Fantastic Four: First Steps

Current Curiosities

[Reading] Travels with Charlie: In Search of America by John Steinbeck 

[Listening] We Can Be Weirdos with Dan Schreiber 

[Watching] Thunderball 


Stumbles Are Steps, Too

This morning, I finally watched The Fantastic Four: First Steps. I wanted to like the movie more than I did. On paper, what's not to like??? Pedro Pascal??? Yes. Sarah Niles??? Absolutely. Julia Garner??? Please. Natasha Lyonne??? Love. Retro 1960s futurism??? Stellar. PanAm blue supersuits??? Fabulous. And yet the stakes couldn't feel lower even as the fate of the world (and a baby) hangs in the balance. 

Normally, I'm just happy to vibe in the MCU and catch up with existing and new characters. So I wonder if I didn't connect with Fantastic Four because it doesn't feature an established MCU character like Black Widow or Nick Fury — yet. (I felt similarly about Eternals until Brave New World.) First Steps feels untethered from the MCU, and yes, I know it takes place on a different Earth in another universe, but this lack of connection to the broader MCU made the movie feel more like a live-action The Incredibles.

The Good

• PanAm blue turtle-necked supersuits, though sadly unflattering from behind
• A quirky and well-thought-out retro futurism 
• Sarah Niles — put her in everything!
• Sue Storm's Countess Luann voice
• Pedro's mustache

The Bad 

• Clunky dialogue, flat acting, no real stakes
• Galactus and Silver Surfer gave cartoon 
• Underutilizing Sarah Niles! 

The Queer
Johnny Storm is a closeted homosexual, no??? Well, let's look at the evidence. First, he sports a (bad) platinum blonde dye job and thick dark eyebrows. Nothing broadcasts post-break-up white gay male angst quite like abrupt and drastic hair changes. Second, little about his overcompensating performance of heterosexual masculinity reads as authentic. He talks about women like he's never been with one, but not in that shy, adorable Captain America way. Johnny does, however, scan as someone desperately trying to overcompensate for  and hide his true identity (novel for a superhero movie, I know) from those closest to him. Third, he features a seemingly impressive package in every tight-pantsed outfit — a classic gay sartorial choice. And fourth, Johnny's superpower is flaming. He's literally a flamer. Has there ever been a clearer metaphor??? (I haven't read the comics, so maybe Johnny eventually comes out — or maybe he doesn't and that's his choice.)

I may need to give The Fantastic Four: First Steps​ a second chance with fresh eyes in a few weeks.  

Thank you very much for your time. If you have recommendations or curiosities, please fill out this nifty contact form.

Sending y’all supportive, well-caffeinated vibes, 

Creighton 

Today’s Pen(cil): Ooly Fab [Fountain Pen] | Sailor Shikiori Zaza [Ink]